A museum membership.
Joe Biden quotes. Wine in a
box. Taco Bell after a night of drinking. Rodney.
Every one of the aforementioned represents gifts that just
keep on giving.
It occurred to me that I have been wasting time writing
about instances of foolishness and delusion (no matter how consistent they
might be) displayed by other players when we have been blessed with one of the
most improvident lack-wits in Survivor history is still kicking it with his
boys.
There have been small-brained party guys.
 |
| Dipshit Eddie |
There have been crazy people who yell a bunch.
 |
| The Specialist |
Players without any discernable strategy other than just
being dicks.
 |
| Kass the Butthole Lawyer |
Contestants with an immensely inflated opinion of
themselves.
 |
| Coach. Also played Gul Dukat in Star Trek I think.... |
And people so unlikable that you actually hope they get
eaten by a jungle predator.
 |
| Yep. I was rooting for nature to claim this guy somehow. Admit it. You were too.... |
Has anyone ever combined these traits into a single package with
such effortlessness as Rodney?
 |
| “All the fools out there who think I’m dumb and ‘oh, he talks like an idiot’--wait till you see what I have planned for this game.” |
This guy is such an arsehole that I am almost having a hard
time disliking him. It’s kind of like watching
Homer Simpson crap all over Ned Flanders.
He such a buffoon, such a caricature of idiocy that it defies belief and
makes him cartoonish.
I would not be shocked
in the least if Jeff Probst came out
tomorrow and said this season’s much ballyhooed “big twist” is that Rodney
doesn't exist but is, in fact, a CGI composite of laughable jackasses from the
Northeast compiled from 10 years of combing fishing ports and community
colleges.
Rodney has played a game that includes:
1)
Making
Randy “Macho Man” Savage look like a
champion of women’s rights
2)
Betraying
alliances because they “ don’t drink….don’t
Pah-ty”
3)
Shouting down people with differing opinions as
if they are deaf and not, simply, people with a difference of opinion.
4)
Forming a “bromance” with the only guy in the
game without a firm alliance to bolster your position and who might be (almost)
as personally repulsive as you are.
5)
Throwing a challenge. This never works. Ever.
The befuddlement on Rodney's face as his best laid plans explode in his face is why I watch this show.
I don’t know yet who is going to win this game. I am not even sure I know who I want to win this game.
One thing is certain, however.
Much like my NCAA bracket after the second day, Rodney is
drawing dead.
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