Survivor 30: Worlds Apart: Breaking Down the Final 10

As we have now narrowed the field to 10 players, I have decided to do a detailed personality breakdown of those remaining in addition to the typical power rankings and general breakdown of their respective games.

To refresh the memories of my long-time readers and to educate the newbies, I ascertain a players rank by considering current circumstance, long-term survivability, and how well their game will play in front of a jury.

Aaaaaaaaaaand were off!

#10:  Joe

“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose.   That is not a weakness.  That is life.”

--Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Joe is one of those rare players who is so good at everything (challenges, strategy, relationships, debonair smiles, flowing locks of glorious hair) that he cannot possibly win.  

In fact, in all of my years of watching this show, I have not seen anyone exude so many important winning elements at one time.

Hell, I’m starting to think that maybe he knew something I didn’t about why he should kill the chicken instead of the rooster.

Joe can best be described as the following mix:

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He’s far too dangerous and even his own alliance will want him gone as soon as possible.

#9:  Jenn

Last week was an unmitigated disaster for Jenn on a personal level but it was certainly not unforeseen. 

I’m ranking her way down the list right now because her alliance is barely on life support and she is far less likely than Joe to go off on a sick individual immunity streak.

However, I have learned from experience that the anger of a “no-collar” hippie is dangerous and unpredictable.

With her gal-pal Hali gone, Jenn just became a ton less threatening and if she can make enough waves to get the loudmouth rabble that dominates the majority alliance to initiate their internal auto-destruct programs a couple weeks early she might hang on awhile.

Jenn is a combination of:

#8: Rodney

Some people in this world are so reprehensible and disgraceful that they don’t even realize the totality of their assholery.

Boston Rod is the anti-Joe.  In fact, the only redeeming quality that I have been able to identify in Rodney (aside from a largely biological/evolutionary need to love his mom) is the fact that his attitudes, intellectual deficiencies, appearance, and expressions prove unequivocally that our species shares a common ancestor with apes.

Rodney is may be the most offensive human being on the planet and is drawing dead in this game. 

This guy is an unholy mix of:

#7:  Dan

Like Boston Rod, this guy hasn’t the foggiest idea what a jerk he is.  Dan is legitimately shocked that people don’t appreciate his kind soul after he rips their hearts out of their butts.

Following up a mean-spirited bullying personal attack on Shirin, Dan claims he is “just being nice” by telling pointing out what a worthless human being she is and keeps repeating that she is just “another super-fan who can’t do math.” 

Here’s some math for you jackhole: 

How many votes do you get for a million dollar prize when everyone hates your guts?

Dan is:

#6: Shirin:

Just as the aforementioned blue collar guys are absolutely obtuse when it comes to what a bunch of dill-holes they are, Shrin is equally ignorant of how she is perceived by the others in this game.

She proudly displays her eccentricities and yammers on incessently about peeing on monkeys while they have sex or some other such thing.

Even so, I'm not quite sure why she is so despised given the cornucopia of people far crappier than she is but she needs to keep a lower profile if she wants to get to the end as "The Goat".

Shinin is best described as the following mix:

#5: Sierra

This woman is the prototypical non-entity (thus far).  Non-entities become jury members in this game but almost never bring home the coin.

Her only real skill seems to be that she illicits really shitty apologies from angry mailmen and she knows how to vote with the majority.

I have already provided more insight into Sierra than the Survivor editing team dating back to the season premier:

Do you remember any of these guys?  Me neither....

#4: Will

Every season it seems, someone shows up who just rolls with the punches and allows fate to take them wherever it may.

This man's performance is completely unremarkable in every possible respect.  Still, he's not a threat and he seems top get along with anyone.  He may go far, but he can't win unless the final 3 sets up perfectly.

Will says he's playing "the game."

Just what game it might be is anyone's guess.

Will is:

#3 Mike:

I am impressed with Mike.

While many people have played a skilled game, NOBODY has played one as close to perfect as this guy.

Even Mike's imperfections serve to make him more viable than Joe as he is not viewed as the biggest threat.

He works incredibly hard in all aspects of the game, exhibits impeccable moral character, created, maintained, and controls the preeminent alliance, and actually knows how to apologize to a woman.

His ploy to get people to stop looking for the idol by forcing Joe to act like he had already found it was magnificent.  To then sneak off and actually find the immunity idol was genius.

Mike's only flaw is that his success as ring-leader has made him a bitter enemy or two.  In this particular season, I have a feeling that a more stealthy approach may be the correct play.

I would say Mike is best represented by mixing these guys:

#2: Carolyn

The deep-voiced  New York executive has played a great game thus far but anyone who almost chokes to death on an idol clue during a reward and then unwittingly hands it over to the most threatening guy on the planet (Joe) simply cannot top my list.

Still, she is in a VERY good spot right now for immediate and long-term viability.

Carolyn has the idol, has an eloquence and command presence that will serve her well on the jury, and has not really betrayed any potential jurors aside from Shirin who everyone hates anyway.

If you wanna know Carolyn, then imagine these people rolled into one:

#1 Tyler

I see no reason to demote this guy.  He played an absolutely perfect game up to this point given the cards he was dealt.

People seem to be falling over themselves to tell him they have idols or to bring him in to their side-alliances.

I cannot fathom why nobody seems mortified by this guy's competence.  His ability to properly handle people and situations is almost supernatural.

--For reasons only known to God/Odin/Zeus/Ra, Rodney actually wants him in his final 4.

--Mike trusts him after he superbly handled the situation with Joe's idol clue.

--Joe appreciates his circumspection after he didn't out him for finding the idol clue.

--Carolyn adores this guys and their secret power-2 alliance is THE dominant force in the game right now.

--Jenn hates him less than  anyone but Joe.

--Will just kind of hangs out.

Until something significant occurs, this guy is the leader in the clubhouse.

Here's Tyler: