Every so often in life, you are given a gut feeling.
Before this season started, I watched the pre-game
interviews and read the bios.
My gut told me that Val and Jeremy were going to be a
dominant force in this game.
2 weeks later, I can proudly reaffirm what I have always
known to be true. Listening to one’s gut
is nincompoopery of the highest magnitude.
You know why humans lack the same instincts that are
commonplace in the rest of the animal kingdom?
Because nature decided that reason, logic, and intellect are vastly
superior forces and everyone who “trusted their gut” was tossed, rightly, into
the evolutionary scrapheap.
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| The guys in the red circle relied more on their gut |
Jeremy the likable fireman is, in actuality, an emotional basket
case whose pendulum swings violently between rage and despondency.
Val the competitive cop and mother is, simply put, one of
the dumbest people I have ever seen play this game.
2 idols Val?
Really?
1)
Where are you going to get TWO 4 days into the game?
2)
Why would you even tell people you have 1 idol
much less 2? You have no firm alliances! Everyone on your tribe is just going to try
and flush it out immediately. You just
guaranteed yourself half the votes.
3)
Why would you think leaving camp with someone
with whom you never speak, and who just spent a day or two on Exile Island with
your husband is a good idea?
4)
How could you not know that coming back to the
camp at the same time as John just before a jury vote might raise a suspicion or 2?
5)
Why in God’s name would you simply assume that
everyone is going to vote the way John Rocker says they are going to vote?
I see a lot of dumb things every day. Even the dumbest decisions have some agenda
or logic behind them even if I disagree with it. The “I have 2 idols” is bereft of any
conceivable rationality. It has all of
the downside of any catastrophic blunder and no possible upside:
Coming in just below Val on the “dumbest player in history”
chart is John Rocker.
I am going to just assume that he has never seen the game on
TV before. How else could he have found
the hidden immunity idol and still believed that Val had 2 idols?
For a good laugh, let’s have a look at John Rocker’s week:
1)
He foolishly and impulsively volunteers for a challenge
that involves ducking under low obstacles while balancing a ball on a disc.
John Rocker is 6’6”…..
2)
He then loses the challenge but composes himself
in time to insult every woman on the island by noting his disgust at “losing to
a GIRL”.
3)
His tribe gathers while he is gone and his
identity is revealed along with his less than stellar past. Only Wes the Louisiana fireman seems confused
as to why people don’t like him. John
Rocker is, after all, an exalted hero of the Confederacy after his bigoted rant
against homosexuals and black people.
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| Pa...I just don't understand them Yankees.... |
4)
He comes back from Exile Island and then loses
an immunity challenge that looks to have been tailor-made for a gigantic professional
athlete.
5)
The vote goes poorly, he looks like a liar, and
everyone hates his guts.
Now the bright side:
Who wouldn't want to sit next to this multi-millionaire,
unrepentant bastard when it comes time to pick someone to win a million
dollars?!
Amidst all of the idiocy, it is easy to overlook competent play.
Despite Rocker’s plastic girlfriend’s somewhat surprising
aptitude for this game, I think she’ll get axed by her tribe just to stick it to Mr.
Baseball. Nevertheless, she seems astute
and has acquitted herself well in challenges.
On the other tribe, Josh (Reed’s hustle) is a player. He reminds me of that little flight attendant
who won the China season. Josh
understands the game mechanics in a way reminiscent of a Boston Rob or a
Cochran despite the fact that he is a rookie.
It’s early yet, but this guy is my leader in the clubhouse. Josh's team just needs to stop getting their ass
kicked so he can get to the merge without being down 8-3.
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