Survivor Caramoan Season 26 Fans vs. Favorites: Week 11 Write Up and Player Power Rankings

Life after Malcolm.

It was bound to happen sooner or later.  You can’t jump from a solid 7-person alliance filled with astute players to a hypothetical 6-person one consisting of a loudmouth (Corinne), a pompous ass (Reynold), the loudmouth’s “Gay” (Michael), a confused flake (Erik), and a dipshit Eddie (Eddie) and expect it to end well.

Malcolm played a very bad game, made even worse by the fact that he was in a position of power and authority throughout the entirety of the first half of the season.

Even if Malcolm would somehow have chewed up his alliance and made it to the end, the jury would have consisted almost entirely of the people he screwed over when there we still 5 fans left to knock out.

There is a time for loyalty, and there is a time for backdoor shenanigans.  Malcolm displayed neither competency with any degree of mastery and attempted to implement them at the worst possible moments.

Vaya Con Dios Malcolm!

I have been mellow for long enough.  It’s ranting time!

What the %$#& is the matter with the Eddie and Reynold? 

That auction was the most poorly played 8 minutes of Survivor I have ever seen.  You know that your survival is teetering precipitously on the edge of an abyss and you are hemorrhaging money at hidden platters and letting Cochran purchase almost certain victory in the immunity challenge for $340?

Hey jackasses!  You know that you’re outvoted 8 to 3 right?  It’s bad enough that Reynold blows his money blindly on a single slice of pizza, but Dipshit Eddie actually sat there with 5 Ben Franklins in his hand and let guaranteed victory in the immunity challenge slip away for the cheapest we have seen in 10 seasons so he could buy a tub of Jif!

The only reason I can possibly fathom for this foolishness is that Eddie knew beforehand that, due to a very feeble brain,  he would forget to play the advantage during the challange and craved the certainty and bliss that comes from a fist full of delicious, creamy peanut butter .

And another thing.  Where are the sneaky bastards this season? 

I would have spent the last week  (in episode time), telling Andrea that as soon as we played our idols, her entire tribe started whispering “Let's vote out Andrea” until Phillip spoke up and demanded the vote proceed as planned. 

I’d let it get back to Dawn that I heard Brenda laughing with Erik about something that happened at the pier. 

3 weeks ago, if you intimate to Cochran that Dawn told Andrea that he is the only one they can’t beat come jury time and that he already betrayed her once and cannot be trusted, it may have planted a seed.

Perhaps Brenda needs to know that, despite her knee brace, she and Erik scare the other weaklings on the tribe with their physical prowess and will be removed before they can ally with other strong players.

Or maybe someone should tell Erik that Andrea thinks his facial hair looks like a baboon’s ass.

Do something…… Anything! 

These people are starving, tired, and paranoid!  Surely a few weeks of innuendo, half-truths, and bald-faced lies could have gotten someone to crack! 

Going up to Sherri and saying, “Uh hey there.  I know I need immunity every week to survive, but how about you pinky swear me and I’ll take you to the finals?” is an embarrassingly uncreative scramble that was about 3 weeks too late in its attempt.

As much as it pains me to say so, Malcolm deserved to get snuffed this season just as much as he deserved to win the last one.

Let’s rank em’ shall we?

1)      Brenda

I really struggled to keep Brenda #1 this week after witnessing her breakdown and the utterly surreal scene of Dawn actually trying to calm someone else down.

The evidence overwhelmingly suggests that a demon of despair had taken up residence in Dawn’s fake bottom teeth.  This demon then jumped into Brenda when she foolishly grabbed the retainer from the watery grave from whence it lay. 

Brenda degenerated into a weepy mess at camp, was coerced into hoarding her money only to inexplicably bid on pig brains (a favorite of demons from the 7^th plane of Hell who are most decidedly un-kosher), and then was the first person forced out of the immunity challenge.

I don’t know in which article of clothing or hitherto unknown prosthesis the demon now calls its home, but Brenda better give it to Erik or Cochran of she’s screwed.

2)      Erik

If we learned anything from the Clinton administration in the 90’s, it was that if something was working, don’t screw with it.

Erik hasn’t the foggiest idea how the gears and mechanisms of this game work but he is smart enough to just leave it alone when it is functioning in his interests.

He has the “Gump” aspect of this game mastered to such a degree that he doesn’t even need the “Ozzie” part where he kicks ass in challenges.

I hate saying this, but Erik is the best person to take to the finals:

1)      There is no evidence to suggest that he has an eloquent bone in his body.

2)      When the best move you made all game was to get confused and to follow Andrea’s instructions, you need the aforementioned eloquent bone to compensate when pleading your case.

3)      He isn’t a guy that everyone hates so it doesn’t look like you are taking some jerk with you to the end just so you can win.

Erik will go to the finals and finish 3^rd unless dipshit Eddie somehow makes it in.

3)      Cochran

If the previous 11 weeks were the regular season, it is now playoff time.

In a way, the success of Stealth R’ Us over younger, stronger, and (generally) more visually pleasing  players, should give hope to the nerdy and provide succor for the homely.

Every alliance of pretty people and meat heads has been toppled and those that remain have been rendered impotent unless they win immunity every single week.

Cochran has won the war over his enemies, but the question remains, can he win the peace over his friends? 

I am rooting like crazy for this guy to go to the end.  Not only has he played a great social and strategic game, but he is the last truly interesting person on the island.

The only sneaky people left on this show are the editing crew, so I suspect that the clip showing everyone discussing whether to send Dawn or Brenda home is yet another Red Herring.

Watching Cochran right now is akin to watching a team that had the best regular season but has a fatal flaw that will keep them from the championship. 

Everyone who watches this show knows that if he makes it to the end, he wins it all.  Sadly, so do the 7 other people remaining on the island.

I fear for Cochran…..

4)      Dawn

The no-crying streak has reached an improbable “1”!

This woman teeters between cold-blooded criminal mastermind and mentally unstable 16 year-old who just got stood up on prom night.

I am beginning to believe that it is in Dawn’s best interest to play the crazy card at this point in the game.  People may start to think that someone as weepy as she is cannot possibly be plotting the downfall of empires.

Much like Phillip’s pink panties, Dawn must hope people underestimate her due to her perceived emotional weakness.

I cannot shake the feeling that she is about to orchestrate the fall of Cochran.

5)      Sherri

Is this woman still here?

Ye Gods……

6)      Andrea

Her refusal to let Malcolm wipe his arse without supervision after gettng the idol clue shows how seriously she is playing this game.

I am sometimes amazed that she is still here given how involved she has been with every big decision or petty power struggle this season.

Andrea has received far more votes than anyone else remaining and yet, somehow, feels comfortable enough to buddy up to Eddie.

While it does not speak well of her intellect, I have to admire her balls.

The rest of her alliance won’t pay her the same courtesy.

Andrea needs to make a move….Now.

7)      Eddie

I sometimes think the only reason I watch this show is to see what stupid-arsed thing Eddie will do next.

Let’s recap “The Best of Eddie”:

1)     Form an alliance of “cool kids” that are outnumbered 6 to 4 on the first day of the game.

2)      Make constant reference to how much prettier you are than the people in the majority.

3)      Act surprised and hurt when they vote out everyone but you and Reynold.

4)      When the re-shuffle occurs, don’t try and build relationships that will aid you strategically, immediately flock to people you consider “pretty”.

5)      At the merge, promptly join up in another minority alliance.  Express gratitude that they are “good looking”.

6)      Calmly lay around in the shelter while Reynold feverishly searches for a hidden immunity idol.

7)      Cozy up to Andrea and then, just as you might be getting somewhere, try and vote her out of the game at the next tribal.

8)      Join Reynold in acting like a pompous ass during tribal council, believing that calling people “Phillip’s puppets” are going to make them, somehow, change their game. 

9)      Show off like a 12 year old boy in front of a gaggle of middle-school cheerleaders at the immunity challenge.  Botch placing a ring over a post and get knocked out.

10)   Go to the auction and let Cochran pretty much purchase immunity for 160 dollars less than you have in your pocket.  Buy peanut butter and then act certain that you made the right choice.

11)   Look into the camera and say how little you fear Cochran in the upcoming immunity challenge.  Then lose the upcoming immunity challenge to Cochran.

Like I said before, everyone wants Eddie sitting next to them.  He may climb this list yet.

8)      Reynold

I don’t even know what to say here.

Wasting your money blindly in the auction when immunity is the only thing keeping you or your crumbling alliance in this game is criminally stupid.

“I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Malcolm—Ranked #8 out of 9 when voted out week 11.

Phillip—Ranked #4 out of 10 when voted out week 10.

Michael—Ranked #9 out of 11 when voted out week 9.

Corinne—Ranked #5 out of 12 when voted out week 8.

Julia—Ranked #13 out of 13 when voted out week 7

Matt—Ranked #10 of 14 when voted out in week 6.

Brandon—Ranked #15 out of 15 when voted out week 5

Laurie—Ranked #12 out of 16 when voted out week 4

Shamar—Ranked #17 out 17 when he left the game

Hope—Ranked #17 of 18 when voted out week 3

 Allie—Rated “Poor” when voted out week 2

Francesca—rated “Poor” when voted out week 1

Survivor Caramoan Season 26 Fans vs. Favorites: Week 10 Write Up and Player Power Rankings

Well that was sure an interesting last 10 minutes of Survivor wasn’t it?

I knew that I jinxed the crap out of The Specialist by bumping him so far up in the rankings…..

 

A number of folks expressed surprise that Malcolm would use his second idol to save Eddie but it was the smartest play for 3 reasons:

1)      By proclaiming that they were all safe prior to the vote and announcing their target, there was a chance (albeit slight) that the now panicked players on the council would also vote Phillip, allowing them to maintain all their idols for another week.

2)      If this ploy did not work, then The Specialist goes home and Stealth R’ Us is mercifully relegated to the ash heap of history.  Say what you will about Phillip, but his ham-handed social game did have the side-effect of keeping people honest in the alliance.

3)      It sewed dissention in the ranks of the opposing alliance as they started feverishly whispering and plotting about who to cannibalize.  If he was smart, Malcolm learned much about the alliance dynamics and may be able to buy 2-3 more weeks instead of just one.

On a side note, I was going to apologize to Dipshit Eddie this week for my harsh comments regarding the fact that he spilled the beans to Andrea about her being targeted last episode.  Upon further reflection, I believe it is almost certain that Dawn ratted Malcolm out to Andrea anyway and Eddie may have established some much needed good will.

However, after watching him Pater-Pan off the pier in an attempt to show off his studliness, flubbing the ring placement in the process, I officially revoke my apology.  Only Eddie would risk a million dollars to do something stupid that he thinks looks cool to the chicks.

How about some Rankings?

1)      Brenda

No changes here.

There is some risk that “Stealth R’ Brenda” has been exposed with her very solid showings in the last 3 challenges but I think that her gaudily colored knee brace may put just a little doubt in people’s minds.

Besides, as long as Malcolm, Sir Reynold of Pompoushire, and Eddie the Wise are still in the game, nobody is looking at Brenda as the primary physical threat.

Moreover, it never hurts for future votes to charge into the forest to rescue a shrieking Dawn from complete meltdown while the other players glanced at each other awkwardly and rolled their eyes.  Brenda could have eliminated a future rival by simply acting like she couldn’t find her teeth but took the high road here.  Good for her.

Once the beef is gone, I like Brenda’s chances in challenges against the remaining chuckleheads even if she completely loses her leg to a monkey attack.

2)      Cochran

I love lost causes so Cochran is my man.

This guy gets more entertaining by the week and his ability to assess an individual or situation is uncanny considering that he doesn’t have the benefit of the confessionals to help him make his plays.

He’s playing for 4^th, but I am holding out hope that he may find some way to dupe someone into taking him to the finals.  I mean, Eddie and Erik are still playing right?

Hopefully, the producers will decide that the final challenge will involve gulping down a barrel full of “badger penis in white sauce” instead of something physically taxing so my man Cochran can take home the coin.

3)      Erik

I hope Erik knows what he is doing because I sure as hell don’t. Throughout this game, his actions have been contradictory and puzzling. 

Playing Survivor with Erik is like playing poker with my friend BJ.  His strategy is so wildly inconsistent that you can never know whether he is holding a straight to the ace or a pair of 2’s.  The same circumstance may pop up 5 times in the course of a game and he will handle it differently on each occasion.

Here are some of Erik’s major decisions thus far.

1)      At the outset, he allies himself with the most unstable person (Smaegol Hantz) in Survivor history.à He then tries to tackle him to stop him from dumping the food out while the other people just stood there cringing and crying.

2)      He agrees to join “Malcolm’s Meats”, acknowledging that all the strong males will be targeted and that drastic steps are necessary.à He then acts confused and asks Andrea for whom he should vote, destroying his new alliance while still in its infancy.

3)      He astutely points out to everyone that simply because Malcolm and Eddie have the idols doesn’t mean they will play them, inferring that the vote should go down as planned.à He then is the only person in his alliance that does not vote as planned and flops to “Fillup”.

Why he would want to keep around a bunch of idol-finding challenge gods is beyond my comprehension. 

The “Ozzie-Gump” gambit I detailed last week is Erik’s only shot in this game.  His wishy-washy-ness is going to ensure that he is at or near the ass-end of any alliance so he had best play it out with a bunch of sissies.

4)      Dawn

Even though it has been done to death, it was originally my intent to pile on Dawn for her latest melt-down.  The moment she told Brenda what had happened, I was immediately reminded of that kid from the movie Parenthood when he too lost his retainer.

But much like my criticism of Eddie/Andrea, time has softened my opinion of the matter.   I cannot think of any woman that I have ever met or am ever likely to meet who would have happily pranced around for 5 more weeks in front of millions of people on national TV looking like a meth-addict who got hit in the face with a hockey stick by an angry pimp.

This may be the first legitimate weeping attack that Dawn has had in either of her 2 seasons. 

She would be out of the game had it not been for the kindness of another player.  If Dawn does anything other than protect Brenda with her last breath then she is a shitty person.

5)      Sherri

Sherri continues to suck in challenges as bad or worse than anyone I have ever seen.

I knew fat kids who were better at dodgeball than Sherri is at about anything likely to be seen in this game.  You would have thought someone who looks like she has been lost in the Sahara for 37 years would have at least shown up for the eating challenge……

I am half expecting her to say “no thanks Jeff.  I’ll pass” if she ends up winning food at the next reward challenge.  However, the likelihood that any team she is on might actually win anything is beyond the realm of possibility.

Sherri shuffles around through challenges like a Yoda when he is using neither “The Force” nor his cane.

Like most non-entities in mid-late game, she is safe for the moment and may actually ride her ineptitude to a strong finish but if she jumps ship and signs up with the dudes, she’s a goner at 5.

6)      Andrea

If the last tribal council was any indication, this woman is in serious trouble.  The moment it became evident that someone on their alliance had to go, everyone but Erik turned on Andrea like a pack of pre-teen girls fighting over a Justin Bieber poster.

If she paid any attention to what was going on, she must know she is on the arse end of any alliance that does not have someone named “Eddie” in it.

I can’t believe I am saying this, but a little quid-pro-quo with Dipshit Eddie may be Andrea’s last, best hope for something other than an inauspicious trip to the jury.

Tis a sad day when you must pin your hopes for a million bucks on this guy:

7)      Eddie

It is impossible for me to stifle a smirk of derision whenever I think of this last immunity challenge.  I cannot think of anyone else who could possibly have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory with more panache than our buddy Eddie.

Sailing gracefully, needlessly, through the air like a shaved gorilla, Eddie slammed the ring down on the post with all the authority of a college sophomore shaking the table with an empty mug after winning a drinking contest.  The only problem is that he missed.  Jackass…..

Anyway, Eddie’s intellectual and physical prowess is second-rate compared to the other big dogs, so he’ll only get votes if Malcolm or Reynold wins immunity.

Besides, who wouldn’t want to sit next to Eddie in front of the jury?  I can hear his statement already:

                “Hey guys!  I came to this island to party.  When the pretty girls started disappearing and someone stole the keg, I was really bummed at first.  I mean, all of the games and shit were cool, and my boy Reynold over there is a stud <taps his chest with two fingers and points at the jury> but I just couldn’t find the tap..  Then this blonde chick named Allison shows up and I wanted to hit that.   Vote Eddie.”

Yep.  Eddie is safer than the other guys.

8)      Malcolm

This should really be 8a and 8b for these last two dudes. 

Whoever does not win immunity between Malcolm and Reynold is going home unless:

a)      They find another hidden immunity idol.

b)      Malcolm can convince 2 people to flop.

I am not confident in the latter possibility as who in their right mind would ever want to drop out of the majority alliance where the only person with an ounce of physical presence is an injured Brenda?

However, Erik did give up an immunity necklace once before and Stiffler’s Mom may end up having to be medevac’d due to malnutrition so hope remains, but he really should just find the idol and be done with it.

9)      Reynold

I only put Reynold at #9 because he is kind of a butthole.

Truth be told, I actually enjoy his confessionals and often agree with everything he says, but the problem is that he seldom keeps it private.

I mean, who among us can go into our jobs and say exactly what we think every day about every topic?

Sure, that lady in the other department may be a mullet, but you can’t go over there and tell her (and her friends) that you think she’s a nincompoop even if you have strong evidence.

There is a necessary political aspect to both Survivor and (for most of us at least) life.  I suspect that Reynold's life experiences and whatever position he currently holds outside of the show has not reinforced this reality.

Win out, find some idols, or go home.

Phillip—Ranked #4 out of 10 when voted out week 10.

Michael—Ranked #9 out of 11 when voted out week 9.

Corinne—Ranked #5 out of 12 when voted out week 8.

Julia—Ranked #13 out of 13 when voted out week 7

Matt—Ranked #10 of 14 when voted out in week 6.

Brandon—Ranked #15 out of 15 when voted out week 5

Laurie—Ranked #12 out of 16 when voted out week 4

Shamar—Ranked #17 out 17 when he left the game

Hope—Ranked #17 of 18 when voted out week 3

 Allie—Rated “Poor” when voted out week 2

Francesca—rated “Poor” when voted out week 1

Survivor Caramoan Season 26 Fans vs. Favorites: Week 9 Write Up and Player Power Rankings

Finally!

A tribal council with a little intrigue! 

I was beginning to believe that the show forgot how to entertain without idiots like Hantz and “The Specialist” running around acting like buffoons.

Malcolm’s play to obtain the idol from Reynold and play it was absolutely brilliant.  If Dipshit Eddie hadn’t freaked out Andrea to the point that she panicked and changed the vote, it may have been one of the all-time great maneuvers in show history. 

Damn you Eddie!  You recover from whatever roofie you took before coming on the island just in time to shoot America’s favorite player in the ass.  When Erik shakes his head in disbelief at your ineptitude, you have serious problems.

On the down side of last week’s episode, Phillip’s creepy comment about skeletal cougar Sheri’s hotness when he saw her on the beach, coupled with the really bad teen soap opera that is Eddie and Andrea, made me feel dirty.  And not in a good way I assure you.

Obviously, the rankings are going to start shifting around substantially after last episode but I am not quite prepared to write off either Malcolm or Reynold as it is entirely within the realm of possibility that they keep finding hidden immunity idols every week.

1)      Brenda

And for the first time this year, we have a new leader in the clubhouse!

“Stealth R’ Brenda” is owning these chump holes. 

Remember the reaction of the Fans when they first saw Brenda coming off the helicopter? 

Don’t worry if you don’t because I don’t think anyone playing the game remembers any longer either.

Worried glances, whisperings of danger and deviousness, and comparisons to Parvati have been purged from memory by goofy dances, friendly grins, and a complete lack of visible strategizing.

Even with a twisted knee, Brenda should dominate the rest of her Alliance in challenges down the stretch and will acquit herself well in front of the jury but lacks the obvious eloquence of a Dawn or Cochran, making her far more likely to see the final 3.

I have a hunch that the reason we haven’t seen a lot of interviews with Brenda is because she is going to make it to the end and editing crew didn’t want to over-saturate us.

2)      Cochran

It was another fine week for Sherman from American Pie.

 

In many ways, it is sad to watch Cochran play one of the most intelligent and entertaining games of Survivor that we have seen in 26 seasons. 

Cochran’s game reminds me of something my mentor, John Luc Picard, once said:

Sometimes, you can make no mistakes, do everything right, and still lose.

He is the Finnish Army in 1940.  He is Belgium in 1914.  He is Andy Dufresne from Shawshank Redemption when “the sisters” show up to give him a good buggering.

In each case, you look at them with awe, with pride.  You marvel at their tenacity, envy their bravery, wish that you possessed a fraction of their purpose and could fight by their side bringing glory and honor to all that is good and pure.

But, in truth, there is never a doubt how it must end.  It is not Cochran’s game to win, and it never was.

He is incapable of winning the immunity necklace in the final challenge and the very perfection of his game to this point, coupled with his eloquence and intellect, ensures that nobody in their right mind takes him to the end.

Since there are 2 people left on the island who most definitely are not “in their right mind” by any accepted definition (Phillip and Dawn), he has a snowball’s chance but Cochran is playing for 4^th.

I place him at #2 out of respect and nothing more.

3)      Erik

And here comes Morrison Gump! 

I believe that Erik’s current strategy (or lack-thereof) can, henceforth, be referred to as the “Ozzie-Gump Gambit”.

Here’s how it works:

1)       Join up at the ass end of a majority alliance of wusses.

2)      Never strategize and look dumbfounded at all times.

3)      Always vote with the majority until all other physical threats are gone. 

4)      Win multiple immunity challenges against the remaining sissies until they start to realize that you are mentally incapable of besting them in front of the jury and want you in the final 3 with them.

5)      Get a couple votes from meatheads like Eddie who can’t force themselves to vote for people who are not pretty and enjoy your 2^nd place finish.

4)      Phillip

If you had told me 4 weeks ago (just after Hantz melted down) that The Specialist was going to be only the 3^rd most unstable person on his tribe I would have laughed in your face.

His sermon at tribal council force Malcolm to completely out himself as a traitor and he may have saved the game for himself and his alliance.

Watching the game fall into chaos while Phillip soldiers on no more or less crazy than he ever was, I am reminded of the scene in “The Avengers” just before Banner turns into The Hulk for the final time.

Probst:  Phillip.  Now might be a good time for you to go crazy.

Phillip:  That’s my secret Jeff.  I’m always crazy.

When chaos reigns and the strain becomes intolerable, the advantage goes to the person who has lived and embraced emotional instability. 

5)      Dawn

My two year-old just threw up for an entire weekend, bashed his head on a coffee table, misplaced his favorite “Super Why” toy, and suffered the indignity of wearing a coat that was not green and still cried less than Dawn.

If it were anyone else, I’d say she was toast, but just as the French draw strength from surrendering, Dawn fortifies herself by turning into a weepy mess at critical moments.  Nervous breakdowns seem to focus her so don’t worry about her longevity.

It is her recent decisions and not her behavior that spells danger for our favorite unstable English Professor and mother of 14.

If Cochran is the soothing voice of reason who talks his allies down from ledges before the leap into the abyss, the Dawn is “Lucy” from the Peanuts Cartoons. 

 

Instead of telling Malcolm and Corinne to settle down/stay the course/get their heads out of their ass, she agrees with their plan, rats them out, and then knifes them at tribal council.

The way things are going, it may be hard for Dawn to get any votes even if she floods the council chambers with her tears.

6)      Andrea

My initial impulse is to drop Andrea down for:

1)      Being a Dawn in training with her emotional outbursts.

2)      Pitching woo with Dipshit Eddie

However, getting “indirectly hit on” by the fireman saved her torch last week as she found out her name was on the winds and cried until people changed their votes to Michael from Malcolm.

Andrea better pull herself together or her allies will start viewing her as a liability.  Good players like predictable allies, not mercurial cry-babies.

7)      Malcolm

Tribal council was an amazing play. 

If Eddie had the ability to think with anything other than his dong, Andrea would be gone, Stealth R’ Us would be dealing with a power vacuum, and “Malcolm’s Meats” would have found new life.

Still, if there was anyone who suspected he had an idol, they no longer do.

Malcolm can buy himself at least one more week in the game in which time:

1)      Phillip may finally piss someone off so bad that they have to see him snuffed.

2)      Andrea may breakdown when she learns her beloved Eddie  intends to betray her again

3)      Dawn gets medevac’d from the island due to severe dehydration from crying

4)      He and/or Reynold might find another idol

5)      Stiffler’s mom quits the game after Phillip tries to rub pink underwear on her in the shelter.

Much like the old man in the cart in The Holy Grail, He’s not quite dead yet, but for the love of God, stop going to Dawn with plans for betrayal.  She’s Dawn!  She’ll just cry and then go tell everyone what you did! 

Malcolm, I fear, has been hanging around with Reynold and Eddie for too long……

8)      Sherri

If Stiffler’s Mom doesn’t die of malnutrition in the next few days, she might just make it to the top 6 or 7 for no other reason than the self-implosions of more entertaining players.

The only thing even remotely interesting about Sheri is the way she seems to lose 17 pounds between each episode. 

I’ve seen some skinny people on this show, but I have never seen someone start out looking relatively normal and then proceed to diminish so rapidly.  I guess having Phillip tell you how hot he thinks you are can cause uncontrollable bouts of vomiting and diarrhea.

Now I’m worried about her…..

9)      Reynold

Reynold becomes the first player in Survivor history to needlessly squander two immunity idols during council.  It may be the only think of note he does this season unless he finds another idol after Malcolm plays his.

Are you really so arrogant that you thought Cochran, of all people, would be swayed by statements like “getting our bro on”?

This is not Middle School Reynold!  Harvard educated people playing for a million dollars do not harbor secret wishes for acceptance into little clubs.

It is the “cool kids’ table” phenomenon all over again. 

They better have circus games for immunity challenges for the rest of the season or Reynold is screwed.

10)   Eddie

Your brief moment of lucidity only reconfirms your low intellect. 

Here is Eddie’s plan from last week:

1)      Hit on Andrea and put a target on both of you as a couple threat.

2)      Tell Andrea that her name has been mentioned so that she panics and blows up the plan that actually would have sent her home and saved your alliance.

3)      Vote for Andrea at tribal.

……..

I cannot even begin to figure out why you played things the way you did.  If you had at least betrayed your bro club you would have had Andrea’s loyalty.   The only way you are not getting wiped next is if you are viewed as so laughably feeble-minded that everyone wants to take you to the end.

  

Michael—Ranked #9 out of 11 when voted out week 9.

Corinne—Ranked #5 out of 12 when voted out week 8.

Julia—Ranked #13 out of 13 when voted out week 7

Matt—Ranked #10 of 14 when voted out in week 6.

Brandon—Ranked #15 out of 15 when voted out week 5

Laurie—Ranked #12 out of 16 when voted out week 4

Shamar—Ranked #17 out 17 when he left the game

Hope—Ranked #17 of 18 when voted out week 3

 Allie—Rated “Poor” when voted out week 2

Francesca—rated “Poor” when voted out week 1