Denver at Oakland (+10 ½)
I believe I am not alone when I thought that the Raiders were finally due for resurgence once Al Davis passed on to either oblivion or the next life. If you are out there Al, please accept my apology. You guys suck no matter who is in charge. Still, 10 ½ is a ton of points to be getting for a home divisional game. I am reluctantly taking the Raiders here but will need to shower immediately after writing this blog.
St. Louis at Buffalo (-3 ½)
Someone once told me that the sun never shines on the same dog’s ass more than once. While it is true that the Bills are a dog’s ass, I’m feeling a second ray of sunshine coming. I mean, they can’t be the Bills unless they rip out the hearts of their fans and stomp on them right? Buffalo will do just well enough to miss out on some good draft picks but crap the bed when it looks like a playoff push may be in the cards. I’m taking the dog’s ass at home to cover.
Dallas at Cincinnati (-3 ½)
Both the Cowboys and Bengals show the propensity to look both great or crappy depending upon the week. Sometimes, they will show this tendency from quarter to quarter. However, Dallas sucks. The Cowboys just let Nick Folks drop 33 on them.
Kansas City at Cleveland (-5 ½)
I feel bad for KC given the recent tragic events. For this reason, I will eschew mentioning what a bunch of under-achieving dipshits they are and just take the Browns who have been playing pretty damn good defense of late.
Tennessee at Indianapolis (-5 ½)
1. I am somewhat shocked at this line. I feel a great disturbance in the force See what I mean here. Still, I cannot help myself. One team is playing well, is at home, and has everything to lose by dropping this game. The other team appears to exist for the sole purpose of %$#&ing me over in my fantasy league. Taking the Colts to cover.
Chicago at Minnesota (+2 ½)
This is a tough call. AP is a man among slightly smaller men and can single handedly keep the Vikings in the game until Cutler quits on his team or yells at a lineman. On the other hand, Christian Ponder does really stupid shit at least twice a game against even crappy defenses. Even without Urlacher, I think the Bears beat the spread.
San Diego at Pittsburgh (-6 ½)
Just when you think the Steelers are done, they stagger back up and fight like warriors.
Just when you think the Chargers are done, they are done.
Take the Steelers at home to cover no matter who the QB is.
Philadelphia at Tampa Bay (-7 ½)
Am I the only one who thinks that losing the bulk of their offensive starters has made Philly better? I mean, they actually play like they haven’t been on the team long enough to realize what a dunderpate Andy Reid is. Additionally, being away from their hostile fan base is actually a benefit to the Eagles. I like the Bucs in the game but that extra half point has succeeded in scaring me off. Eagles to cover .
Baltimore at Washington (- ½)
I firmly believe that Mike Shannahan will eventually be the same color as the mascot on the Redskins’ helmets. If this happens, watch out. Washington wins a close one at home.
Atlanta at Carolina (+3 ½)
For the last 3 weeks I have been saying that Atlanta is due for a crap game. Every week I’ve been right but they keep winning. Ron Rivera is on the hot seat and Carolina just suffered a humiliating loss to the dog-butt Chiefs. This time, I’m banking that Atlanta plays yet another crap game, still wins, but doesn’t cover. Take the Panthers.
NY Jets at Jacksonville (+2 ½)
BOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
**the above sentiment is borrowed from Bill Simmons
Miami at San Francisco (-10 ½)
Remember back in the day when we all wanted to bench Bubby Brister because Brian Greise looked really good like twice in preseason?
Me too. Miami covers here.
New Orleans at NY Giants (-5 ½)
I’m done basing my predictions regarding Giants games upon reason, logic, and data. From now on, I’m just going to try and remember if it is bed-shitting week or kickass week. I think its kickass week. Doesn’t matter what the Saints do. Take the Giants to win big.
When I first saw this line I was almost as shocked as I was with the Colts game. Seattle has a rookie QB, just lost their best corner to suspension, and is coming off a very hard fought and emotional win in Chicago. Undoubtedly, the Seahawks are looking past the Cardinals making a 10 ½ line pretty iffy right? Then I remembered that the Cards forced a bunch of turnovers and held a team to like 6 yards last week and still lost. I hate huge lines like that but a 23-10 Seattle win looks pretty plausible here.
Detroit at Green Bay (-6 ½)
I have never seen a team find more ways to lose than Detroit. These guys have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory at least a half dozen times this year. No wonder their city stinks and no one can find jobs out there. It is said that even Bangladeshis avoid Detroit. They’re all a bunch of losers. Screw you Detroit.
Houston at New England (-4 ½)
The Texans can sew up home field in the AFC with a win here. However, they can also sew up home field in the AFC by getting a couple wins against much shittier teams in weeks 15 and 16. New England is a bunch of practice-filming cheaters whose fans routinely violate rodents. I think the Pats cover here.
Last Week: 8-8
Season Record against the spread: 107-85
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