The Fryguy Invectives: Frey's NFL Picks Week 3: The Gridiron Nostradamus

A lesser man would certainly take this opportunity to brag about a second straight week of going 3 and 1 against the spread.

. . . . . . . .

OK let’s pick some games!

New York Jets @ Cleveland Browns (-3)

I can’t decide whether New Yorkers are incurable optimists or whether they are simply pompous and delusional.

Remember that ball-hoggy, locker room-killing, no-defense-playing turnover machine Carmelo Anthony who was traded to the Knicks? It was assumed by these nincompoops out east that liberating him from that cow-town Denver and allowing him to bask in the superiority of New York would somehow turn him into Michael Jordon.

I still laugh at those clowns for that one.

Every shmo that lands in NY is the next big thing:

Yeah we've seen this before....

The “Sam Darnold to Canton” train is just another sad example of either East Coast pomposity or naïve optimism. Until a few more weeks pass, I’m thinking there is more “Buttfumble” than “Broadway” in this most recent incarnation of “The Next Big Thing”.

I’m doubly pissed that they have compelled me to make a 0-17-1 team one of my picks of the week but the Browns have limited 2 Hall of Fame QBs to 21 points in consecutive weeks.

Browns not only win but stomp the Jets.

Denver Broncos @ Baltimore Ravens (-5)

I love my Broncos.

In fact, I actively dislike every other team in the NFL and their inferior fan bases.

All of that being said, Denver needed valiant 4^th quarter comebacks to secure last-minute victories, at home, against bottom feeders.

Now they are travelling across the country to have a 11:00 AM game against a solid team with a strong home field advantage.

Despite his stellar “9” on the Wonderlic (the average offensive tackle score is 26), I suspect Garrett Bolles has like 70 penalties in this environment.

For reference, the median score for a janitor is 17. I'm not feeling very confident that Bolles plays a heady game.

Their record says, “2-0”.

The eye test says, “gonna get their ass kicked on Sunday.”

Sadly, I think the Ravens roll here.

Chicago Bears (-5 ½) @ Arizona Cardinals

I almost made this my Admiral Akbar Trap Game of the Week but the Bears are on the road for a 1:30 PM kickoff.

It should be like 145 degrees on the field.

Still, Arizona may be the worst team on the planet not named “The Bills.”

Enough can go wrong in that heat to make this less trappy but Chicago should still win by a TD or more.

Admiral Akbar Trap Game of the Week

Pittsburgh Steelers (-1 ½) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The fact that Pittsburgh needed a blocked field goal to tie a team that hasn’t won a game since 2015 should make them road underdogs against a red hot Bucs team right?

Not enough?

How about if they then got smacked around by the Chefs on their home field the very next week?

No?

Then what if I told you their locker room is in chaos, their all-pro RB refuses to report, the best wide receiver in the NFL is skipping practice, and the coach has lost the team?

Still no?

Either someone knows something I don’t or there has been some major cannabis use by the odds makers.