Frey's NFL Picks: Week 2: Wisdom on the Cheap

Hail and welcome again my friends to your exclusive pass to knowledge!

With week 1 in the books and sporting a robust 3-1 record against the spread, I feel that it is only appropriate to give a shout out to the Cleveland Browns.

In a uniquely Cleveland-esque way, the Browns were finally able to end a historic winless streak by actually not winning.

 

 Dilly Dilly Cleveland.  Dilly Dilly.

For this week’s picks, I think it is only appropriate to embrace the above theme and pay homage to those teams who have provided all football fans with mirth and joy throughout the years.

It worked the last time I did it, so let us resurrect the “don’t pick crappy teams” gambit” and see where it takes us.

Miami Dolphins (+3) @ New York Jets

I refuse to accept the premise that beating “The Beard” in Detroit makes these guys not be crappy.

The hurricane of ineptitude that the Jets encountered in Detroit is not a good litmus test.

2 weeks ago Miami would be favored in this game.  I think the rookie QB is going to come back down to earth here.

Los Angeles Charger (-7 ½) @ Buffalo Bills

If we were to pretend the Browns don’t exist, I think it is safe to say that only the Bills could parlay a playoff team into the worst team in the NFL in a single season.

Moreover, these clowns can’t decide which young QB is better than the other.

The answer is obvious.  They’re both shitty. 

I’ll take an injured and dispirited Chargers team on the road to cover.

Yep.  That’s how I feel about the Bills.

Cleveland Browns @ New Orleans Saints (-8 ½)

They won’t go 0 and 16, but 0-15-1 is still not out of the question.

The Saints are at home and were totally humiliated by Brigadier General Fitzpatrick last week.

When he's not fighting off Union forces at Manassas Creek, he's dropping 48 on the Saints 

No matter what “Hard Knocks” says, I’ll take the team that doesn’t suck at home over the 0-16-1 guys.

Admiral Akbar Special:

Detroit Lions @ San Francisco 49ers (-5 ½)

This has nothing to do with predictions, but I finally realized where it was that I saw Matt Patricia before:

Hagrid may be a good friend to Harry Potter but, as we all know, the Ministry banned him from using magic.

No magic again this week Hagrid.  The 49ers not only win but kick you in the Dumbledore.

I’ve no idea why this spread isn’t bigger.  A trap perhaps?  Very well, I’ll fall into it.

2018 Season Record: 3-1

2018 Trap Game Record: 1-0