The Fryguy Invectives: Frey's 2016 NFL Picks: Week 2

Before we speak of anything else, let me first say: GO BUFFS!!!

In lieu of self-promoting comments detailing my robust 3-1 record against the spread last week, I have decided that an unscheduled rant is in order.

2016-2017 Unscheduled Rant #1:

The ESPN Power Ranking people are a bunch of dipshits.

1) The Green Bay Packers squeak by a Jaguars team that hasn’t had a winning record since I had hair and they fly up 5 spots to #1?

2) The Houston Texans struggle mightily at home to beat a Chicago team that might be crappier than anyone not named “Cleveland” and they move up from #13 to #7?

3) Arizona hosts a Patriots team without their 2 best players, gets slapped around like Fredo from The Godfather II, loses the game, and only drops from #4 to #5?

4) The Steelers travel to Washington DC and absolutely violate last year’s NFC East Champions and drop 2 spots to #4?

5) Denver, with a QB who never took a meaningful snap in his career plays on national TV and defeats (for the 2^nd time in a row) the best team in the NFC and not only stays put at #8, but is still ranked 2 spots behind the team whose ass we keep kicking?

The 4 letter network is clearly suffering from a talent gap.

ESPN's lead analyst in Bristol prepares the weekly power rankings

I've said my piece. Lets’ pick some games.

Baltimore Ravens (-6 ½) @ Cleveland Browns

I’ve always felt that betting on games involving Cleveland is remarkably similar to dabbling in the fertilizer/manure industry. You know that you are dealing with truckloads of shit, but there is serious money to be made if you can handle the stench.

The Browns are my sugar daddy. No reason to change it up now.

Take the Ravens and give the points.

Indianapolis Colts @ Denver Broncos (-6)

I’m not entirely certain how a team that just lost at home to Detroit is going to come into the Mile High City against the defending champs and do anything other than get beaten like a circus monkey.

6 points is a lot to give up when you have a ball-control offense like Denver but we DID lacerate Andrew Luck’s kidney last time we played.

I’m just sayin’….

Andrew Luck relaxes after leading the Colts over the Broncos in 2015.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Arizona Cardinals (-6 ½)

In most circumstances, I encourage people to use their brains instead of listening to their guts when there is evidence available pointing the way to a logical conclusion.

Gut instinct is a remnant from the days when our species lived in trees flinging poo at each other while agonizing over whether or not the shadow of that tree branch over there was going to eat us.

That having been said, I have an overwhelming feeling that, despite crapping the bed against the Patriots, Arizona is going to come out and crack Tampa like stolen crab legs.

Sorry Hank. I'm going gut this time....

Atlanta Falcons @ Oakland Raiders (-4 ½)

The idea of picking the Raiders to win over anybody can make even the stoutest of men feel dyspeptic at best.

However, any team that goes on the road and punks New Orleans HAS to be favored by more than 4 ½ at home against an Atlanta team that has sullied the name of mediocrity for 4 years running.

Either the Tampa team the smacked the Falcons in Atlanta last week is the reincarnation of the 87’ Giants or the team from Georgia sucks.

I'm inclined to believe that the latter is true and, if so: