The Fryguy Invectives: Frey's NFL Picks of the Week: Wild Card Edition

And so, my friends, begins my favorite time of the year.

An entire season of blood, sweat, toil, and tears for 12 franchises now culminates in this most excellent of events. The NFL Playoffs.

Justly, the pitiful dreams and ambitions of lesser cities and their idiot fans lie crushed like bugs, tossed into the great celestial trash heap like so many empty vodka bottles from a Cleveland Browns QB's Wednesday night bender.

So, in honor of the season, I would like to pass on a special message to the 20 cities who, yet again, sit staring longingly at the TV while my beloved Broncos and other competent teams take the field in January.

You suck. All of you.

Let's pick some games.

Kansas City Cheifs @ Houston Texans (+3½)

While the Chefs have been garnering most of the press due to their 10 game winning streak against 8 dog poop teams, an injured Ben Rothlesberger, and the mutilated carcass of Peyton Manning, the Texans have quietly notched up many wins of their own behind the best defense in the NFL over the final 5 weeks of the season.

Both teams are hot, neither team has much playoff experience, and both are pretty healthy.

The difference in this game is that JJ Watt took has cast off last week and had 3 sacks.

Houston is at home, the best defensive force in the NFL is finally healthy, and when last checked, Andy Reid still coaches the Chefs.

This guy > Alex Smith

They may not win the game, but I like the Texans to cover.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-2½) @ Cincinnati Bengals

Ben Rothlesberger:

Regular Season Victories: 114
Playoff Victories: 15
Super Bowl Rings: 2

A.J. McCarran:

Regular Season Victories: 2
Playoff Victories: Never Been
Insanely Hot Wife: 1

If McCarran loses, he will have to trudge home to this. I expect 3 picks in the first half.

If this were a calendar shoot, I'm taking the Bengals.

Since it's football, give me the team with experience.

Seattle Seahawks (-3½) @ Minnesota Vikings

The weather guys tell me that the game temperature will likely drop to -23 when the windchill is factored in.

Now on its face, one would think this a significant advantage to the Vikings.

That's crap and here's why.

Russell Wilson was born in Ohio and played College Football in frigid Wisconsin.

Teddy Bridgewater was born in Miami and played his College Ball in Louisville where it once dropped to like 50 degrees.

Now who do you think is gonna handle this weather better?

Skip the beach-bum and take the 'Hawks.

Green Bay Packers @ Washington Redskins (Pick)

Somewhere, in the land where little red-faced men open their own steakhouses, Mike Shanahan sees DeAngelo Hall and Kirk Cousin kicking ass and flips Daniel Snyder a bird so violently that he pulls a muscle in his neck.

I mention it often, but this may be one of those seminal moments of two ships passing in the night.

But then again, Daniel Snyder still owns the Redskins so its probably just a blip in the radar.