Frey's NFL Week 17 Locks of the Week

Hosed by the ½-point.  

Stupid Lions.  I’m glad they have to wake up  every day in Detroit.  Buttholes…..

Looks like the gods have deemed it important that I continue to heap love and praise upon the Washington Capitals.

You know one thing I like about the Caps?  They never abuse the emotions of their fans by deluding them with the illusion of greatness.

Caps fans are mercifully spared the terrible pains and thousand natural shocks endured by those who lend their emotional energy to successful franchises such as the Yankees, Broncos, Blackhawks, or Lakers.

No expectations.  No Hope.  No Stress!

To the last Picks of the regular season then!

Cleveland @ Baltimore (-8 ½)

Whenever your collective fan base can be heard uttering, “Thank God Brian Hoyer is back behind center”, you know your #@$&ed.

The Ravens desperate need this game to have any hope of seeing the post-season.  Cleveland needs more and better draft picks to squander again next year.

God hates Cleveland.

New Orleans (-3 ½) @ Tampa Bay

This is the no-brainer of all no-brainers.

This is like Mike Tyson vs. Michael Spinks.

Like Rick Berry from the foul line.

Viper over Maverick.

We all knew what was going to happen when these 2 duked it out in the skies.

Tampa just needs to do what it does best (crap the bed) and they win the 2014 Marcus Mariota sweepstakes.

If Lovey Smith even trots out his starters for this game he should waterboarded.

Carolina @ Atlanta (-3)

Any time a 6-9 team is playing for a guaranteed playoff spot in front of a rocking home stadium it is time to revisit the whole playoff structure.

The only thing more ridiculous than the concept of a7-9 team hosting a playoff game is betting that Cam Newton is going to win a do-or-die road game with a broken back.

It's not as bad as Butt Fumble, but it's close...

Philadelphia @ New York Giants (-2.5)

It would be completely and utterly irresponsible for me to not go to the bank by betting against “Butt Fumble” one more time before the season ends.

The stats don't lie

To all the Philly fans who spoke about redemption and the fact that Chip Kelly’s is an offense that would finally allow Butt Fumble to fulfill his destiny as a stud QB I say this:

You are all morons.

Happy New Year my Brethren!

Last Week: 2-2

Season Record against the spread: 34-30