Another tribal council, another imprudent move.
So long LJ. You said in week 1 that you “don’t trust hot.” Clearly, you were not attracted to Tony in the least. 8 weeks into this season, I think most of America is thinking “I don’t trust cop.”
Did anyone aside from Tony (and probably Sarah) actually think that LJ’s luke-warm, placating concession that Woo might, at some point, need to be eliminated constituted a betrayal of the alliance?
Tony wanted LJ gone, badgered him remorselessly about how important it was to get rid of Woo, extracted a half-hearted mumble of assent, and then decided that LJ was treasonous.
I can already see how Tony handles his business on the streets of Jersey City:
Tony: <approaches a man on the street> “Hey brother, can I borrow 10 bucks really quick?”
Joe Public: <skeptical> “I suppose officer. Here.” <Hands Tony a 10 spot>.
Tony: “Great! Hold these drugs for me will ya? <Thrusts a bag into Joe Public’s chest>
Joe Public: <Gapes open-mouthed in stunned silence>
Tony: “I can’t believe you just bought a bag of drugs right in front of a cop!” <cuffs the man> “Yep. Another scum-bag off the streets.” <walks off whistling with his prisoner in tow>
I’d feel safer from government sanctioned harassment if I were to traipse around Egypt naked wearing the pontiff’s hat than I would if I were going to a deli in Jersey with cops like Tony policing the streets.
Rant of the Week: Does Anybody Not Named Tasha, Trish, or Spencer Actually Know Which Show They Are On?
It is clear to me now that this season should have been titled: Survivor 28: Dipshittery Personified.
Survivor is not a game of checkers. It is a game of chess, requiring careful consideration of each move as it relates to the next 7, and then adjusting moment by moment as your opponents push around their respective pieces.
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| Kass prepares her next move before tribal council |
It’s no good knocking off a few pawns if you lose your queen in the process. Look at the situation for a moment:
1) At least 3 players (Tony, Kass, Sarah) have parlayed power positions into ousters or enmity for reasons that would baffle all but the most unreasonable among us.
2) 1 person (Morgan) decided that the best way to save herself from getting voted out was to state categorically that pretty people are better and she is unused to pulling her own weight around camp because she’s hot.
3) 2 players (Jeffra and Jeremiah) do not appear to have any idea where they are at all and would likely think they were being prosecuted for some crime if they made it to the jury.
4) Finally, Woo is so easily manipulated that I am going to try to convince him into thinking that I am Jesus after the season ends. You know, just to see if I can.
This show has been on for 28 seasons and I cannot remember seeing a group of people more ill-prepared for the mental and social aspect of this game in my life. If Spencer, Trish, or Tash don’t win, the entire science of Natural Selection will have to be called into question.
I once had a buddy in High School who was such a son-of-a-bitch that Mother Teresa would have wanted to punch him in the face within 45 seconds of him opening his mouth.
If my old pal made it to the end with either Tony or Kass, He could pelt the jury with bags of flaming poop and he’d still leave with a million bucks in his pocket.
If Spencer gets himself into a power position, watch out.
Good Move of the Week:
Spencer reading Tony and understanding game mechanics well enough to not use his idol.
The chessmaster understood that if dirty cop#2 doesn’t flip, the idol does no more than buy him a week. If Tony does flip, having an idol in your pocket going forward can mean the difference between a not-unenviable position on the bench next to Morgan and a million bucks.
Other Good moves:
1) While I have made no secret that I catagorically disagree with Tony’s paranoid flip-flopping as a viable long-term strategy, I think Woo made the right choice (even if for the wrong reason) by going along for the ride. Every time people start speaking about physical threats, Woo’s name is at the forefront. Now everyone is either so pissed off at or skeptical of Tony that Woo has reduced his threat rating a bit.
The game machanics seem to suggest that further flopping and alliance reshuffling is unlikley for the moment so Woo should be safe from getting voted out for a couple weeks. Still, with these lack-wits nothing would surprise at this point.
2) Jeremiah has wisely allowed Spencer to do most of the talking for him. I don’t know if he’s an intelligent man or not, but whenever I hear him talk strategy, neither the nature of his observations nor the folksy Southern twang fill me with confidence.
In fact, I keep expecting to see a big jug of moonshine with ‘XXXX” written on the side sitting on a log next to him whenever he speaks. A Jersey Yankee like Tony would have been unlikely to understand a word he said.
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| I know it's unfair, but I keep seeing this guy in my mind when Jeremiah speaks.... |
Dumbass Move of the Week:
Without question, Tony’s flop was the dumbest move of the past week.
Does he really think he has a better chance to win the game by violating half the potential jury and showing himself to be completely untrustworthy to any remaining potential allies?
Even if, by some magical happenstance, he survives to the end, Tony has placed himself in a position where he will need to soundly defeat an unsullied Spencer or Tash in a battle of rhetoric.
The only way this guy wins is if:
a) He convinces the other people to turn on each other
b) He drags Kass to the end with him
c) He finds the special idol Jeff Probst mentioned
d) The special Idol allows him to kill the 3rd finalist before the last jury vote.
Other Bad moves:
1) Hey Tony! Quit telling people you are a construction worker! Everyone already knows you are a cop. Anyone who doesn’t will know by the time you get back to camp. Pointless lies in Survivor serve no purpose aside from making people think you are a wang.
If I were Spencer, I’d go to the next tribal council and tell Jeff Probst that I am a fighter pilot in the Imperial Japanese Navy just to see how Tony reacts…..
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| Spencer gears up for a day at the office |
2) Everyone in the Alliance of 6 (with the possible exception of Woo) knew that Tony was attempting to orchestrate a trumped up case against LJ subsequent to enjoying a spa and lunch with members of the other alliance.
Yet, somehow, it never occurred to any of these maroons that people often orchestrate trumped up cases so they can actually DO something to their target, not simply because they enjoy the process.
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| Always a good attitute to take while your alliance leader openly plots to betray one of your partners |
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