If I could predict the outcome of sporting events or stock purchases with a fraction of the skill that I have shown this season I would be writing this from my lanai on the North Shore of some tropical island paradise.
Now that I have transitioned seamlessly to the topic of islands, I should like to point out that Vytas’ Sam Kinison act at tribal council following Aras’ ouster you'll see what I mean by clicking here, coupled with his sulking and snippy comments, has changed my opinion of the guy.
He has the look now of a pouty and unstable malcontent. Vytas obviously feels himself to be the emotional, spiritual, and intellectual superior of everyone else on the island and it galls him to be sitting next to his little brother (whom he blames for his situation) when unstable and unfocused baboons like Monica or complete non-entities like Katie advance for yet another week.
If Vytas does manage, somehow, to get back in the game, his little outbursts and smug self-superiority are not going to buy him many jury votes.
Tina is in even worse shape as she now finds herself competing against the Glorflakentsipikis brothers for a ticket back into camp.
Much like Vytas, she played a near perfect game and then proceeded to get pompous, allow desire and emotion instead of reality to guide her decisions, and then yelled at everyone when events transpired differently than she had hoped.
Tina, at least, appears to be smart enough to smile and thank everyone before she sauntered off to meet the Brothers Garfunklopolis for her inevitable defeat.
This week is the week for the big move. Everybody with even a rudimentary understanding of this game knows that Ciera MUST instigate, nurture, and execute the blindsiding of her own mom. It is the difference between obscurity and immortality. There is no middle ground. It must be done.
As I mentioned last week, it is not enough for her to agree to or simply go along with a plan to wipe her mom, she has to conceive the notion and remain the driving force behind it. If she can do this, she can win the million bucks.
However, since the editing crew is leaking snippets of Ciera bitching about her mother I smell a red herring…
**Author’s Note: I saw a preview and it looks like they are doing that “hang on to the rope while sting on the edge of the pier” challenge. The laws of physics suggest that the lighter players with the shorter arms are going to win, eliminating Hayden, Gervase, and Caleb. Tyson has a separated shoulder so he’ll crack pretty quick I think. Katie and Ciera are just big sissies so they’ll probably drop.
I think either Monica or Laura wins this challenge.
Let’s Rank!
#1) Gervase
I hate the Philadelphia Eagles.
Now that I’ve got that out of the way, I can happily keep Gervase at the top this week.
Watching him eat those grubs was funny as hell also.
#2) Caleb
He’s even starting to look like “Silent Bob” from Clerks.
Caleb’s gonna have to talk eventually but he may be in front of the final jury before he has to.
The thought of a million bucks in the hands of the blackhearted Colton is chilling to me so I just can’t root for this guy.
#3) Ciera
Vote out your mom! VOTE HER OUT AND WIN SURVIVOR!
#4) Tyson
He’s still got enough power and there are still enough targets to keep him here awhile longer yet.
Despite his disdain for just about everyone else on the island, he has not yet made it clear that he hates his tribe mates so he may have learned something from his last 2 sojourns to the tropics.
He needs to wipe out Laura M, followed by Katie or Monica to ensure that a “girls plus Silent Bob” alliance doesn’t pop up before turning on his alliance. He better knock out one of his allies in the next 2 weeks or they’re gonna hit him.
Get the idol ready Tyson. You’ll need it soon.
#5) Monica
Dealing with Monica is like dealing with a violently crazy person. If you can take away anything that she can use to hurt you or anyone else (Katie/Laura/Caleb) and isolate her in a padded room, she is no longer a threat,
She’s unpredictable. She’s emotional. She’s annoying.
She’s a great 3rd person to take to the end.
#6) Hayden
Hayden finds himself in an unenviable position here.
He’s in shape, funny, and hasn’t pissed anyone off.
Moreover, the remaining tribe members may start to panic if the Routisikisoplis brothers go on a Redemption run and decide that sending the Big Brother over is the best way to end the Greek Empire.
He’s got a week or two but I think that’s about it unless he can engineer the removal of Tyson first.
#7) Laura M
She’s just as loud and annoying as Monica but even her daughter thinks that she’s dangerous.
I put her ahead of Katie because I think she might win the immunity challenge this week.
#8) Katie
Katie’s biggest problem isn’t that people know who she is and want her gone.
Katie’s biggest problem is that nobody knows where her loyalties lay now that her Mom is out.
She needs to convince people that they are more likely to make it to the finals by hitching their wagon to a reliable non-entity (Katie) than to a mercurial loudmouth (Monica).
She’s desperately playing for 3rd. Nothing more. To get to the end, she needs to orchestrate not the removal of threats, but the removal of idiots or candy-asses who might battle her for the 3rd spot.
a) Aras
The greater of the Herculeocropolis brothers will zen his way through the next challenge
b) Vytas
Captain grumpypants, even if he bitches incessantly about his brother, women, and aardvarks throughout the challenge, should still be able to outperform Tina.
c) Tina
How much do you wanna bet that she already burned through all her Survivor money from Season 2?
Isn’t it like 10K to be the first member of the jury?
Week 2: #10 of 17 voted off at tribal council: Picked 1 of 2 winners at Redemption Island
Week 3: #16 out of 16 quit game
Week 3: #10 of 15 voted off at tribal council: Picked both winners at Redemption Island
Week 4: #12 of 14 voted off at tribal council: Picked 1 of 2 winners at Redemption Island
Week 5: #10 of 13 voted off at tribal council: Picked 1 of 2 winners at Redemption Island
Week 6: #2 of 12 voted off at tribal council: Picked 1 of 2 winners at Redemption Island
Week 7: #10 of 11 voted off at tribal council: Picked both winners at Redemption Island
Week 8: #10 of 10 voted off at tribal council: Picked winner at Redemption Island
Week 9: #9 of 9 voted off at tribal council: No Redemption challenge
Week 9: #8 of 8 voted off at tribal council: No Redemption challenge
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