Survivor Caramoan: Reaffirming Victory: What Cochran’s Triumph Tells Us About the Game

                              

Watching Erik's flowing locks of dirty blonde hair disappear into the long dark of the Filipino jungle, a mortifying thought assaulted my mind:

“Oh #$%&.  Dawn is going to win.”

With Forrest Gump’s improbable run ending on a dirty trail beneath the forest canopy, I was certain that a villain was going to bring home the title.

It seemed most unlikely that Cochran was going to win yet another immunity and nobody was stupid enough to think he wasn’t the greatest threat right?

Secure in the knowledge that Sherri stood no chance of getting a single vote under any circumstance and that Eddie would feel compelled to actually speak in front of the jury (costing him 50% of his likely votes), Dawn could almost taste the million bucks.

Then, 2 separate and extraordinary events occurred that gave me hope that the deserving might yet prevail:

1)      Sherri (and much less surprisingly Eddie) came to the mind-numbingly stupid conclusion that Dawn was the greater threat.

2)      The final challenge consisted of both a puzzle (effectively neutering Eddie) and stairs (rendering Sherri impotent), leading to a showdown between Cochran and Dawn.

With the advantage in hand from the previous reward challenge, the forces of good prevailed.

*On a side note, I suspect that Eddie would still be working on that puzzle if his Visa hadn’t expired.

 

The end result was a foregone conclusion the second Jeff Probst raised his hands and proclaimed Cochran the winner of immunity, not because he showed greater loyalty, worked harder around camp, or provided grand feasts for his tribe-mates, but because he understands the psychology of the game in ways that 2^nd and 3^rd place finishers do not.

The art of diplomacy is speaking plain truths without giving offense.

--Winston Churchill

You know why Survivor history is not replete with people like Coach, Steph LaGrossa, Russell Hantz, Phillip Shepherd and now Dawn Meehan hoisting the winner's trophy?

It’s because any mean-spirited jack-wagon can traipse around camp, ham-handedly flinging daggers into any backs that might wander in range and claim to be “outwitting” people.

In this season, Dawn didn’t lose just because she betrayed her friends, she lost (primarily) because of the manner in which she betrayed her friends.

Cochran presided over humane executions while Dawn reveled in her role as medieval torturer.

If you leave behind a swath of personal destruction in your wake as you plow forward to the end, ensuring that a hostile or even bellicose jury will be deciding if you can have a million bucks, you haven’t outwitted anyone.

While Cochran spent the bulk of the game talking his more excitable alliance-mates out of premature moves, paranoid delusions, or knee-jerk reactions, Dawn joyfully played the part of agent provocateur, agreeing with every ill-timed or foolish scheme, pledging undying loyalty and support for said schemes, and then ratting people out to their prospective targets.

Cochran was the voice of reason, an intelligent and kind alliance member who took care of his game and those of his allies by soothing, reassuring, and re-focusing those around him. 

Dawn was the corrupt cup, setting people up, planting evidence, and then goading them into situations and decisions that resulted in disaster. 

When it came time to plead her case to the jury, Dawn fell into the old tired “I played the game to win and knew that screwing over my friends was the best and easiest way to get to the final council” ploy.

I got news for you Dawn, buggering your alliance-mates when they have spent 39 straight days caring for you like a sick infant is not “playing to win”.  It’s playing for 3^rd.

Dawn’s final explanation that the stresses of having to betray people she cared about caused her constant meltdowns falls utterly short of the truth.

She was freaking out long before her tribe attended their 2^nd tribal council.  In fact, the only time she didn’t cry this season was immediately after she violently ripped another friend’s heart out of their ass.  

Immediately folloowing these votes, Dawn would smile broadly and tell the camera how proud she was that she was of herself for make these tough choices and how she was finally “playing her own game.” 

40 minutes after the confessional, Andrea could touch Eddie’s leg, Malcolm might burp, or Erik would overcook her coconut and she’d be right back to darting into the jungle shrieking and wailing, only returning to camp once her next victim finds and saves her.

And Sherri?  What a jackass.  Not only did she attack challenges with all of the energy of a fat man at the end of 10K run, but she gets in front of the jury, announces that she is already rich, and then craps on 13 years of tradition by shouting down a guy who (despite the fact that he never had any idea what was happening around him) is fifty times the player that she was.

Sherri is the personification of every unreasonable, domineering, opportunistic, and mean-spirited boss any of us have had in our lives.  Throughout the show, as she shambled around feebly and cast her unneeded votes with already dominant voting blocks, Sherri was clearly contemptuous of vastly superior people and players. 

Her classless outburst in reaction to Erik’s challenge during the final council is precisely what she would do if a low level manager at one of her Krusty Burger franchises questioned a policy or process.  If she had any real power, she would likely throw me in a Kazakhstani Gulag for writing this paragraph.

However, thanks to players like Cochran, human beings everywhere can rejoice in the knowledge that in Survivor (unlike life in general), neither the pompous, imperious butthole (Sherri) or the remorseless, manipulative backstabber (Dawn) is likely to come out on top.

Cochran’s victory reminds us that villainy and athleticism can prolong a player’s life in this game, but psychology and self-control carries the day.

Well done my good man.  Well done.

Its been an honor talking some game with you my friends!  The next season of the NFL and Survivor is just around the corner so don't go far!

Finale Results:

Cochran—Unanimous winner.  Ranked #2 out of 5 when crowned.

Dawn—No votes at final tribal

Sherri—No votes at final tribal

Eddie—Did not make final 3

Erik—Removed from game in final episode for medical reasons

Season Stats:

Brenda-- Ranked #5 out of 6 when voted out week 12.

Andrea—Ranked #6 out of 7 when voted out week 12.

Reynold—Ranked #8 out of 8 when voted out week 12.

Malcolm—Ranked #8 out of 9 when voted out week 11.

Phillip—Ranked #4 out of 10 when voted out week 10.

Michael—Ranked #9 out of 11 when voted out week 9.

Corinne—Ranked #5 out of 12 when voted out week 8.

Julia—Ranked #13 out of 13 when voted out week 7

Matt—Ranked #10 of 14 when voted out in week 6.

Brandon—Ranked #15 out of 15 when voted out week 5

Laurie—Ranked #12 out of 16 when voted out week 4

Shamar—Ranked #17 out 17 when he left the game

Hope—Ranked #17 of 18 when voted out week 3

 Allie—Rated “Poor” when voted out week 2

Francesca—rated “Poor” when voted out week 1

Survivor Caramoan Season 26 Season Finale: Week 13 Write Up and Final Player Power Rankings

The end is nigh my friends.

As the gang of 5 prepare for the final challenges and jockey for position, we are left to wonder just what the hell happened this season.

We shrugged our shoulders at seeing strong players in good positions turn glorious victory into ignominious defeat by overplaying their hands or making moves too early.

 

 

We frowned quizzically as people strong in brawn but weak in arithmetic created or joined minority alliances doomed to failure at the moment of their inception.

 

We rolled our eyes as secret agents in pink underpants engaged in games of cloak and dagger and bestowed cartoonish nicknames upon adult human beings.

 

We watched a fast food franchisee turn into a reasonably well preserved mummy

We enjoyed an awesome beard.

Saw an angry guy do some beach stretching that we all wish we could forget.

 

And rejoiced in a sweet ‘stash.

 

We saw a woman cry like a schoolgirl week after week for a variety of ailments real or imagined.

 

We saw the lead singer of The Doors "Gump" his way to the final episode without having the slightest idea what he or anyone else was doing.

 

We saw an otherwise smart woman decide that losing a million dollars was preferable to belonging a single moment longer to an alliance that did not have a gay man in it.

 

 

We saw someone choose humanity over strategy, saving another player’s sanity, self-esteem, and life in the game only to be betrayed horribly a few days later.

 
 

Our inner-nerd erupted in exaltation as "The Sherminator's" savvy play saved us all from having to "get our bro on."

 

And we saw a Dipshit Eddie act out every conceivable ridiculous idea or action and still make it to the final episode.

 

 

It has been an interesting ride to be sure.  There is really only 1 person left by the communal fire who deserves to win this game and he’s a ginger law student.  However, who should win and who will win are seldom one and the same in both Survivor and in life.

For the finale edition, I will talk about how each player got to where they are now and rank them according to the likelihood that they bring home the million bucks.

5) Sherri—

Stiffler’s mom may be the weakest player I have ever seen at any competitive event, and I once played broomball in college with a dude who was so drunk that he vomited pure Everclear into a breathalyzer back at the dorm.

I am half-surprised that Jeff Probst did not offer her one of those little carts they have for old people at the grocery store so she could acquit herself better in challenges.

Through a combination of ridiculous strategy (allying with the insufferable Shamar and later grabbing a handful of pink man-panties), absorbing the non-entity vacuum vacated by that boring racecar chick, and achieving a monumental level of challenge sucking, Sherri became completely non-viable.

There is not a single person on this island or any other that is less deserving of a million bucks.  The remaining players will almost certainly trample over each other to bring her to the end but that little Filipino dude who Malcolm compared to Gollum would get more votes and he’s not even playing.

4)  Dawn--

I don’t even want to know where she was hiding the saline drip that must have been constantly required to prevent death by dehydration due to all the crying.

Dawn weebled and wept her way through the entire season, praying upon the humanity of other players until such a time as she could absorb their strength, fool them into thinking that she appreciated their kindness, and then slip the blade into their backs.

Unlike the little boy from Old Yeller who wept with despair as he put down his beloved friend, Dawn cried only for herself throughout the season and did not bat an eyelid as she terminated the people who kept her from hanging herself in a fit of despair.

Dawn only made it this far because other players gave of themselves on a personal level to help a crazy person.  The boldest strategic move she made was to rat out everyone else who wanted to make a bold strategic move and then to turn on Brenda to whom she owed a huge debt of gratitude.

Her only hope for victory lies in going to the final 3 with Eddie and Sherri.  She must then hope that the jury (most of whom are there because sweet, pious, trusting Dawn lied so well, so blatently, and so often) wants to bolster their own self-esteem by giving her the title and then claiming that they lost to the champ.

She can count on Cochran’s vote and probably Phillip’s.  If she does well in front of the jury in between the inevitable crying fits(she is, after all, an English professor) and the “I wanna lose to the best” bug takes hold, then perhaps Malcolm and Michael will put her over the top.

3)  Eddie--

Ahhh Eddie.  My muse.  The antidote for all writer’s block. 

There were times this season that I thought I watched this show solely due to this man’s incessant baboonery.

If Winnie the Pooh joined a fraternity on double secret probation and initiated a semester-long drinking binge, I suspect he would look and act something like Eddie.

The below short list of instances or events tell us everything we need to know about this guy:

a)      He repeatedly stated his belief that the world was and should be divided between those who are pretty and those who are not.  He formed a minority alliance of “pretty people” and then participated in activities that excluded and alienated the majority voting block in his own tribe.

b)      He worried that participating in the eating challenge might hamstring his ability to get some good tail.

c)      He lounged around in the shelter while Reynold feverishly searched for idols.

d)     He eschewed purchasing an advantage that would have guaranteed him immunity for a tub of Skippy, and then quit another vital challenge to share donuts and a glass of milk with Erik.

In Eddie, we see the personification of the ADD generation; a young man for whom the need for instant gratification completely eliminates any sense of reason or awareness of long-term goals.

He has a brain and an outlook that is so shallow as to be completely devoid of depth or complexity.

I don’t know about you, but I’d like to be sitting next to this guy when it comes time to plead my case to the jury.

Eddie may win an immunity here in the next episode, further improving his prospects for making it to the end but he needs the same final 3 as Dawn to have a prayer.

In such an event, Eddie can (and should given his nature) abstain from comment and still count on a vote from Reynold, and probably from Malcolm, Andrea, and Brenda.

2) Cochran

If he makes it to the end, he wins.  There can be no debate unless you believe Erik can summon the spirit of The Bard when presenting to the jury.

Cochran’s success in this game is a credit to his ability to learn from the mistakes of his previous stint on Survivor.

He not only kept his wits about him throughout the entire month, he succeeded in soothing the fragile psyches and huge egos of the rest of his alliance, keeping them focused and consistent.

Much to my surprise, Cochran even won immunity twice, effectively eliminating a lack of physicality from an already thin stockpile of ammunition his opponents might use at the final tribal council.

Unlike Dawn, who made it her mission to make every betrayal as painful and personal as possible, Cochran quietly and competently shaped the game to his will and retained the loyalty and respect of both his alliance and his tribe. 

Only once did he initiate the betrayal of a tribe member (Brenda) but her personal relationship with Dawn was so obvious and poignant that his involvement is almost an afterthought.

His observations are astute, his analogies apt, and his timing impeccable.

If I didn’t know that it was impossible, I’d even guess that he knows just what the hell Erik is doing.

Cochran would undoubtedly neatly tie all of these accomplishments together with the practiced skill of a likable courtroom attorney.

The problem is, he probably won’t get the chance.  Nobody in this game has ever wanted to sit next to him on the short bench.

Unless the final challenge involves eating a tub of beetle poop and then completing a puzzle map of Harvard Yard, Cochran’s journey almost certainly ends before the final 3.

However, 2 of the 4 remaining players are named Eddie and Erik so there is a chance, albeit slight, that he can blind them with science and dupe them into taking him along to the end.

1)  Erik

I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floatin’ around accidental-like on a breeze.  But I, I think maybe it’s both.

--Forrest Gump

Subsequent to Dawn’s vile assault on all that is good and pure, this game is now Erik’s to lose.

He is now the primary physical force remaining, has a plethora of allies on the jury, and isn’t the primary target for the next vote.

If Cochran does not win immunity in the next challenge and Erik can win final immunity, the game is over.

Nobody but Cochran is likely to defeat him at tribal council and he is certainly the odds on favorite to win immunity at the end. 

Once in front of the jury, Erik can rightly say that his votes (despite the fact that nobody bothered telling him what was going on half the time) determined the outcome of the game.

Whether intentionally or accidental (as I believe), Erik played the best game possible with cards he was dealt.

He’s not a smart man or an eloquent one, but as we all know, dumb luck fueled by innocence (ala Forrest Gump) always stymies even the best laid plans of the skilled and powerful.

And that’s all I have to say about that…….

Brenda--Ranked #5 out of 6 when voted out week 13.

Andrea—Ranked #6 out of 7 when voted out week 12.

Reynold—Ranked #8 out of 8 when voted out week 12.

Malcolm—Ranked #8 out of 9 when voted out week 11.

Phillip—Ranked #4 out of 10 when voted out week 10.

Michael—Ranked #9 out of 11 when voted out week 9.

Corinne—Ranked #5 out of 12 when voted out week 8.

Julia—Ranked #13 out of 13 when voted out week 7

Matt—Ranked #10 of 14 when voted out in week 6.

Brandon—Ranked #15 out of 15 when voted out week 5

Laurie—Ranked #12 out of 16 when voted out week 4

Shamar—Ranked #17 out 17 when he left the game

Hope—Ranked #17 of 18 when voted out week 3

Allie—Rated “Poor” when voted out week 2

Francesca—rated “Poor” when voted out week 1

Survivor Caramoan: Dawn is a Huge Butthole

“There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of Men for this treachery.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers

When it was all over, I just kind of sat there.  There was no feeling of surprise; no excitement resulting from a blindside well executed. 

I felt dirty, for I had just seen an act of unspeakable callousness.

Survivor is a game that only ends well for 1 person in the end.  The road to victory is sometimes an honorable one but far more often it is paved with deceit and coldness.  Millions of viewers have accepted this reality and, to a large extent, relished it.

Despite this foreknowledge, when this particular vote ended, I was left with one inescapable conclusion:

If there is any justice in this world or the next, Dawn the Cryer is coming back in the next life as a toilet brush.

I can still see her racing around like a crazy woman, pouring her anguish upon a sympathetic Brenda when she lost her bottom teeth in the ocean and promising to all the great powers that she will quit the game if they were lost.

A lesser human being (someone like…well…let’s say, Dawn) would have jumped in the ocean, shoved the teeth under a loose rock and said, “Well Dawn, looks like they’re gone.  Somewhere out there is a puffer fish with some really bitching bottom teeth.  Sucks eh?”

Bam.  Just like that, one of your primary opponents is out of the game and you are that much closer to a million bucks.

But not Brenda.  She donned a mask, dove in the murky water, and somehow fished Judas’ teeth from the bottom of the ocean. 

Were it not for the fact that cynicism(and observational skills) runs deep in my veins, I might have almost believed that Dawn, given her reaction to seeing her beloved teeth again) recognized the value of this act of kindness and acknowledged the debt that was now owed.  Her continued existence in this game is due solely to the humanity of Brenda.

When Brenda won the award challenge to spend time with loved ones, she chose Dawn to accompany her before presented with the Ogre’s choice immediately thereafter.  Yet another act of kindness to a woman who seems to have made it her strategy to breakdown shrieking and shaking like a professional wailer hired to work a sheik’s funeral.

Dawn had the power to make the debt right by supporting her savior for just 1 more week against the wishes of the remaining players, but instead took the slime-ball way out.

It is better to stabbed with the sword of an enemy (Russell Hantz/Richard Hatch) than to be knifed in the back by a friend (Dawn).

Brenda took a bullet for an emotionally and physically damaged Dawn just a few days prior only to see the woman she saved brandishing the gun.

 

To add to the senselessness of it all, this act of unspeakable bastardy by Dawn closed the door on any chance she had to win a million dollars.  Erik or Eddie (Sherri would likely collapse from exhaustion before completing the effort) could walk over to the jury, defecate on their laps, and then return to their seats and still get more votes than Dawn now that she has betrayed her protector in a way that feels vile even in Survivor terms.

Reflecting upon Dawn’s game, it becomes clear that she is a virus; a parasite.

Donning her favored persona of a weepy and vulnerable mess, she finds a host and exploits their humanity by dumping all of her angst, fears, heartaches, and depression upon them and then draws strength from the positive energy they give her out of kindness. 

Having established a bond with the new host(who is now weakened from assuaging the anguish of Dawn’s fragile psyche) she promises loyalty and friendship, giving them a false sense of their position in the game and in life.

Secure in the knowledge that they have helped out a friend in need and can count on her support and integrity, the host makes game changing decisions (Corinne/Malcolm) but the parasite abandons them to their deaths, seeking another person upon which to prey.

The virus that is Dawn is every bit the villain of a Johnny Fairplay, Richard Hatch, or Russell Hantz. 

In fact she is more so.

I’ll take Assholery over ingratitude, hypocracy, and betrayal any day.

If Dawn were unopposed and  I were on a jury that could not leave until we rendered a unanimous vote awarding her a million dollars, I’d pen a letter of apology to my family, slice my wrists, and leap face-first into the bonfire in front of a horrified Jeff Probst.

You are a horrible human being Dawn. 

May the fleas of a thousand Camels infest your armpits. 

Survivor Caramoan Season 26 Fans vs. Favorites: Week 12 Write Up and Player Power Rankings

When I rated Andrea 2^nd to last in the power rankings last week and said that she “needs to make a move….Now..” I didn’t mean that she should make a move on Eddie.

My respect for Andrea’s game, in retrospect, has taken a major dive given how she, like Malcolm, snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by displaying levels of dumb-assery that I did not believe she possessed.

Incredibly, Andrea plotted, schemed, strategized, and spoke loudly about blindsiding her own friends for 12 weeks without repercussion.  Then, with a place in the final 5 imminent, she alienates her entire alliance by rushing to the defense of Dipshit Eddie, even suggesting that Dawn be voted out to Dawn’s primary ally (Cochran)!

Hell, it would have been less damaging if she had actually told Dawn that she wanted to vote off Dawn…..

Her alliance already suspected her of duplicity due to her fawning over Eddie.  If she was going to hitch her wagon to a dimwitted simian, she should have done it back when she decided to vote out Michael when they would have the numbers.

Andrea needlessly over-played her hand last episode and (as expected) clung to her weird affinity  for Eddie, securing herself a place in Survivor obscurity.

On the bright side, we have another whole week of Eddie!  Who knows what mind-numbingly stupid or inexplicable ploy he still has up his sleeve?

Perhaps he will challenge Cochran to a game of chess for individual immunity or pit himself against Dawn in a crying contest for a 24 ounce porterhouse?

I am aquiver with anticipation.

In today’s installment, I am going to give my recipe for victory for each of the remaining players in addition to my normal observations.

Let us look to the rankings:

1)      Cochran

It is not every day you can observe another human being’s transformation with the benefit of cameras and commentary.

With his shiftiness, malevolence, and nerdy pomposity, it seems clear that Cochran as become the very epitome of the Harvard Lawyer that he aspires to become. 

All over the world, asshole lawyers are celebrating his dominance and, so to, will I.

Despite the obvious shortcomings when it comes to his ultimate longevity, I am rating Cochran #1 this week for the following reasons:

1)       Symbolism is very important to my people and I feel as though we must all honor a virtuoso performance by the man.  I can think of no higher honor than having Frey place you at the top of his weekly power rankings.

2)      The Editors released their “Red Herring” preview with Cochran expressing unease at the thought that he may be out.  Nothing makes him safer this week than the fact that the crew of Survivor actually wants us to think he is in danger.

3)      He never touched Dawn’s possessed lower teeth.

Cochran’s best bet going forward is to rally the troops against Eddie and then reform an Alliance of 3 (one of which must be Erik lest he win out in the immunity challenges) to get him to the final tribal council.

Brenda and Dawn know that Cochran will almost certainly win the million if he makes it to the end and will be gunning for him if not this week then next so, as a result, they are not viable cohorts.

If Cochran would just wink at Erik 3 or 4 times a day and point to a name on the tribal banner, this should suffice to plant an idea in his head that cannot be purged with reason or logic.

Sherri still has the “I’m just happy to be here” vibe going and may be desperate enough to hop on board for a top 3 finish.

Cochran-Erik-Sherri is a guaranteed win but any combination should work out just fine for this guy.  He just needs to get to the end by any means necessary.

2)      Dawn

Anyone who can go 2 days without degenerating into violent weeping fits demands respect.

Well done Dawn!  Well done.

I think Cochran waits one more week to make his big move and, until that time, he will almost certainly steer people toward Eddie to purge himself of suspicion.

There is simply no reason to get rid of Dawn (not physically threatening/has betrayed many jurors/cries all the time) until next week so she should be safe for now.

On a personal note, I did want to express my displeasure with how quickly she was willing to turn on Brenda after retainer-gate.  If she has an ounce of humanity in her soul, she should be fighting as hard for the woman who kept her in the game as she does for herself.  However, integrity does not win Dawn the coin.  The below formula does:

Dawn cannot beat Cochran in the final vote and is also unlikely to defeat Brenda.

Anyone who gives even a hint of wanting to take Eddie to the finals at this time is going to get mauled by the rest of the tribe so he is not an option.

Her only hope for victory rests with an Erik-Sherri-Dawn triumvirate.

3)      Erik

Jumping off for donuts notwithstanding, Erik is still the primary physical force remaining on the island.

The problems facing Erik are the antithesis of those facing Cochran.

He has the physical tools to make it to the final 3 without assistance and everyone on the island (with the possible exception of Eddie) thinks they can beat him in front of the jury.

If Erik wins immunity this week, he is almost a shoe-in to make it to the final vote.  But he must win immunity or the remaining islanders will likely target him because:

a)      He is by far the most physically talented remaining player

b)      It gives everyone else a free pass to keep Eddie around without repercussion, significantly increasing their odds to win a million bucks

Erik has but 1 path to final victory.

He must win immunity, convince Sherri and Eddie that he wants them in the final 3 with him, and the use the implied threat of permanent personal immunity to secure 1 more vote to eliminate one of his remaining alliance members.

Anything other than a Sherri-Eddie-Erik final 3 and our favorite Jim Morrison clone is playing for the Frenchman’s prize.

4)      Sherri

It kills me to move such a weak player up the rankings but Sherri is an extremely attractive final 3 partner for a number of reasons:

1)       She sucks

2)       See #1

As it stands, people will want to wipe out Eddie as a final show of solidarity and then, as a matter of mathematics, must begin turning on each other as the final 3 approaches.  I don’t see Sherri beating anyone at tribal council regardless of the combination.

If I was forced to pick a “hail-Mary” final 3 for Sherri it would be Eddie-Sherri-Dawn.  There is the possibility that Dawns love of lying to people and then knifing them may get a few jurors pissed off enough to refuse to give her the million but I doubt it.

On the bright side for Sherri, I finally found someone I think she can beat at challenges:

 

5)      Brenda

Erik’s continued presence on the island is a serious threat to Brenda’s survivability.

She is not strong enough to be the odds on favorite to win individual immunity in any given challenge but is dangerous enough to the others to warrant “the fear vote” should Erik win out. 

Moreover, since only Cochran beats her at tribal council, everyone else is going to be gunning for her once the final 5 are established.

Brenda must win immunity on week 5 and then target Erik.  If Erik wins immunity week 5, she must convince the others to turn on Cochran or she’s gone.  

The safe play for now is to feign loyalty and beat the Eddie drum as loudly as possible and to make Dawn feel so bad about ever targeting you because of what you did for her that you have a surprise ally at the final 4-5.

Brenda has a great chance of winning if she gets to the end but has the hardest path to get there.  Plus, she held the “bottom teeth of evil” in her hands.  Being possessed by depressed demons seldom ends well.

Any ending combination sans Cochran will almost certainly end in victory.  However, a Brenda-Dawn-Sherri final 3 is the easiest path to riches.

6)      Eddie

<sigh>

 

I no longer even know what to say about this guy.  I have never, in 26 seasons, seen a more horribly played game of Survivor.

The fact that both the dumbest player (Eddie) and the weakest player (Sherri) are still playing this far into the season has got Charles Darwin doing barrel rolls in his grave.

If you could combine Sherri’s physical game with Eddie’s mental one into a single player, the result would look something like this:

There is no conceivable scenario where Eddie wins the million dollars unless the remaining tribe members are assaulted by a troop of monkeys on the way to the final tribal council and carried off screaming into the jungle. 

Andrea—Ranked #6 out of 7 when voted out week 12.

Reynold—Ranked #8 out of 8 when voted out week 12.

Malcolm—Ranked #8 out of 9 when voted out week 11.

Phillip—Ranked #4 out of 10 when voted out week 10.

Michael—Ranked #9 out of 11 when voted out week 9.

Corinne—Ranked #5 out of 12 when voted out week 8.

Julia—Ranked #13 out of 13 when voted out week 7

Matt—Ranked #10 of 14 when voted out in week 6.

Brandon—Ranked #15 out of 15 when voted out week 5

Laurie—Ranked #12 out of 16 when voted out week 4

Shamar—Ranked #17 out 17 when he left the game

Hope—Ranked #17 of 18 when voted out week 3

 Allie—Rated “Poor” when voted out week 2

Francesca—rated “Poor” when voted out week 1