Frey's NFL Picks: Week 6

If last week’s 3-1 record is any indication, just popping on 30 minutes before kick-off and picking games without the accompanying smartassery is the ticket to success.

Since I like to be both successful and a wiseass, last minute panic is going to drive the creative juices this week.

Right then.  Let’s pick some games.

Philadelphia Eagles @ Washington Redskins (+3)

The Redskins are dangerously close to joining the ranks of the Bills, Patriots, and Browns as a team that does the exact opposite of what I pick them to do just to be dicks.

Still, being a home underdog in a division game against a team with a rookie QB is hard to pass up.

I’m holding my nose and picking the ‘Skins.

I feel like this every time I pick these guys to win.

Carolina Panthers @ New Orleans Saints (+3)

If Matt Ryan and the Falcons can throw for 500 yards against the Panthers’ secondary, then Drew Brees will have 900 yards passing today under the dome in the Big Easy.

Sadly, it still may not be enough to win because the Saints ‘D’ is like a one legged man in a butt-kicking contest, but I like the home team to cover this one also.

The real bet is whether or not Cam Newton is going to slow down and walk into the end zone this week like he's the Queen of England or something.  I'm betting he won't.

Cincinnati Bengals @ New England Patriots (-7 ½)

It has become fashionable among those insufferable lack-wit New England fans and their East coast apologists in the media to say that anyone who dislikes the Patriots is simply jealous of their success on the field.

While it is indeed true that hating teams that perennially suck like Cleveland or Jacksonville requires more effort, disliking villains is matter of them being villains, not distaste born of jealousy.

According to Patriot Nation, we dislike the following people/entities because we are jealous:

1)      Mussolini

2)       Biff Tannen from Back to the Future.

3)      The Confederacy

4)      Governor Tarkin from the first Star Wars movie.

5)      HOA’s.

Yep.  New England apologists believe you are jealous of this guy.

In fact, here is why we hate the Patriots:

1)      They script their first 15 plays and then shut off their opponents’ headsets during home games.

2)      Bill Belichick is a grumpy old woman who thinks being an imperious jerk is cool.

3)      They have cheated incessantly in dozens of ways for the last 15 years.

4)      Josh McDaniels is an unrepentant arsewagon who purposefully sabotaged the Broncos.

5)      Their fans root for the Germans in war films.

I’m taking the Patriots to win and cover this week just to put the jinx on them.

You’re welcome.

Atlanta Falcons@ Seattle Seahawks (-7)

Atlanta is playing some damn good ball right now.  Damn good.

I don’t care that Seattle is coming off a bye week, 7 points is a huge number in the NFL when 2 good teams are playing.

Somebody is begging us to take the Falcons here so they can add a new floor to their casino.

I’m not biting.

Give the points and take Seattle.

Season Record:  10-10

Trap Game Record: 3-2