Frey's NFL Picks of the Week: Week 4

Alas.  The dreaded 2-2 week has made its first visit to this page.

Yet again, a trap game lured me in with its siren song, crashing my ship of prognostication against the rocky shoals of dishonor.

Let’s be frank.  I can’t stop falling for these traps but it’s not my fault.

You see, the problem is one of evolution. 

All living things (aside from my 4-year old) possess finite amounts of energy.  In the struggle to survive in a harsh and competitive world, the species that refuses low hanging fruit in favor of dangerous and taxing endeavors is cast into the ash-heap of evolutionary history.

Ergo, by constantly lunging for the “low hanging fruit” proffered by Vegas in the guise of easy picks, I am simply proving my genetic superiority.

I'm the guy on the right.

Let’s pick:

Houston Texans @ Atlanta Falcons (-4 ½)

Initially, I was tempted to label this as my Admiral Akbar’s Trap Game of the Week.  However, having taken some time to think deeper on the matter, I believe that the pass-rushing tandem of J.J. Watt and Jadavon Clowney is creating enough doubt as to keep the line down.

Houston did indeed have a fine defensive showing last week and if they hadn’t been facing the laughable Tampa Bay Buccaneers it might mean something.  It doesn’t.

Beating these guys hardly even qualifies as a win.

Take the Falcons to cover here.

New York Giants @ Buffalo Bills (-5)

This week I make my return to the delightful buffet that is the Buffalo Bills.

Rex Ryan has bravely taken over the mantle as the modern Marty Schottenheimer who likes feet and smack-talk instead of grandfatherly statements and countenance.  

He’ll take a team with some talent over from a sub-par coach, make them feel good about themselves for the first time in years, beat up on lesser teams, and then get his ass handed to him by legitimate opposition.

Fortunately, the Bills will not find any legitimate opposition on this week’s docket.

Vaya Con Buffalo.

St. Louis Rams @ Arizona Cardinals (-6)

Carson Palmer is STILL not hurt?

What the &%$# is going on here?!

Cardinals fans have welcomed the appearance of 4 dark horsemen in the Arizona skies, believing them to be a good omen.

Bet the Cards again I guess.

Kansas City Chiefs @ Cincinnati Bengals (-3)

Which, invariably leads us to the Admiral Akbar Trap Game of the Week.

Cincinnati’s passing attack is carving up defenses like Vladimir Putin carves up neighboring countries.

The Chiefs have a dog-crap secondary that is now playing without one of its starting corners.

The Bengals are formidable at home while KC has a proud history of getting wrecked away from the friendly confines of Arrowhead Stadium.

So unlike the old adage about the “Unstoppable Force vs. the Immovable Object” we have then “Unstoppable Force vs. the Suckiest Bunch of Sucks that ever Sucked.”

Can anyone tell me why the Bengals are only 3-point favorites?  I can:

Week 3 Record:  2-2

Season Record: 9-3

Trap Game Record: 1-2