I know what you have all been thinking.
How the hell am I supposed to make any money
betting on football this year when I don’t have Frey’s picks in hand so I can
bet the opposite.
Well, here you go you bunch of smart-asses.
Cleveland Browns @ New York Jets -2.5
As a general rule, I eschew picking teams
whose starting quarterback got punched in the face by a teammate and is going
to miss 6 weeks.
Then again, Geno Smith is seldom the QB who
got punched and those teams are not usually playing the Browns.
I like the improved Jets ‘D’ to put the
clamps down on whatever flotsam Cleveland brings to the table this week.
Cleveland’s bold new uniforms
notwithstanding, take New York to cover in a low scoring game.
 |
| Yep. These guys mean business. You don't make a change like this otherwise. |
Miami Dolphins -2.5 @
Washington Redskins
A lot of hullabaloo has been made about the Redskin’s and
their offensive team name and mascot.
Many alternatives have been floated out there but nothing
really stuck a chord with either the management or the viewing public.
Having watched these guys for the last couple months, I have
come up with a name that personifies everything these guys stand for and can
finally put this whole messy business to rest.
They should call themselves:
The Washington DumpsterFires
You are welcome.
 |
| Get behind this logo. It will be around awhile. |
Indianapolis Colts @ Buffalo Bills +3
There is not a person among us who doesn’t make foolish
decisions….repeatedly in some cases.
Do you continue to smoke cigarettes even though you cough up
black stuff when walking down the hall to the bathroom? It happens.
Still drinking tequila even after the unpleasantness of 1990? You are not alone here.
Keep going back to your ex despite the fact that he/she is
more likely to poison or rob you then to provide even a sliver of happiness? It’s not an exclusive club by any means.
Eating at Taco House…again…even though it gives you the
angry-arse every time? I hear ya
comrade.
My avatar of flawed judgment is the Buffalo
Bills.
It has become tradition for me to get hosed by these
losers. Repeatedly.
But hear me out this time.
There are 4 things the Bills have going for them this week:
1) They
really do have a stout defense.
2) Even
when totally crappy, they usually show up big for home openers.
3) Rex Ryan
excels at taking rubbish teams and making them mediocre.
4) Buffalo
usually doesn’t remember that they are the Bills and they suck until week 4 or
5.
Indianapolis is overhyped right now and is ripe for the upset
and/or backdoor cover.
Don’t #$%& me again Buffalo. I mean it.
Detroit Lions @ San Diego
Chargers -3
And so we come to my “Admiral Akbar Pick of the Week.”
What am I missing here?
·
Detroit lost their best defensive player.
· The Lions are the worst road team in the NFL
over the last decade.
· The Chargers are, for lack of a better term, not
shitty.
I don’t foresee a blowout by any means but 3 points seems
pretty light for a home opener against a team that hasn’t won a game west of
the Mississippi since they beat an abysmal Oakland team by 1point in 2011.
Take Phyllis Rivers and the Chargers to cover in front of
the usual apathetic home crowd.
Record: 0-0
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