Rantings of a Denverite

This recent Carmello Anthony fiasco has left me with one inescapable conclusion:  New York, the fans of New York, the New York apologists, and media in New York are a bunch of dickheads with a superiority complex..

Allow me to explain friends.  For 7 ½ years, Carmelo Anthony played for the Denver Nuggets.  This overrated one-trick-pony could bring the offense but was a turnover machine, a defensive liability, a crappy leader, a lazy rebounder, and couldn’t pass the ball out of a triple team to save his friggin life.  National broadcasters and columnists alike routinely pointed out the flaws in his game for public consumption. 

Then he’s traded to the Knicks.

Suddenly, as if by magic, he’s been transformed into a more athletic incarnation of Larry Bird before the ugly-assed Celtic developed chronic back issues.  There has been more press about the greatness of Anthony in the past 4 days then in the previous 2739 days he played in Denver.  ESPN is littered with New York lackeys thumping their chest about how great this guy is.  The preponderance of national columnists lauded the tenacity of the Knicks front office and the brilliance of the trade. 

Knick fans fill their smelly arena and swoon like low-IQ harlots in the presence of some Bourgeois underwear model while collectively trumpeting the prominence of their new savior.  All day long on the drive to work today, I had to listen to these Jackwagons on SportsCenter gush about how dangerous the Knicks are after they beat the Miami Heat.  The fact that the dog-butt Cavaliers, a team 1 loss away from the worst losing streak in the history of American professional sports, just thumped Melo et al was quietly swept under the carpet.  Hell, I just listened to Stewart Scott state that he might consider Melo superior to LeBron James for his “clutch shooting ability”.

Are you kidding me?  I mean, are you $#@&ing kidding me?  You would rather have a dude who is completely inept defensively, can’t pass worth shit, locks the ball down into a half court game on every possession, and turns the ball over as often as he gets an assist simply because he takes a better last shot?  Maybe if your team leader damn near averaged a triple-double like Labron and mans up defensively you’d be up by 17 and wouldn’t need Melo to chuck up some 22 footer at the buzzer you jackass.

To Jim Rome:  For shame.  This clown was yammering on about how if Carmelo would commit himself defensively that this Knicks team would be dangerous come playoff time.  “If he commits himself defensively”?  Really?  This then is equally true:  If my aunt had a badoinker she’d be my uncle. 

If he does man up, play defense, and start passing out of double and triple teams, it proves that he was dogging it for 7 ½ years in Denver and we can all collectively fling poo at him whenever he visits our fair city.

Subsequent to Anthony’s retreat east, the Nuggets have been running teams out of the gym and are 1 point away from being 4-0 against 4 playoff teams.  Our turnovers per game have fallen nearly in half and our team defense is something other than pungent for the first time in nearly a decade.  Good luck finding anyone talking about that in the national media.  Meanwhile, the Knicks beat a crappy Bucks team at home by 6, lose to one of the worst teams in the league, but manage to drop a Miami team that’s 14-15 against teams over .500 and the entire New York media machine and their fans are besides themselves with joy.  I suspect that when Melo wipes his own arse there are 17 NYC reporters there to discuss the creative brilliance of his methods.  “I’ve never seen such an ambitious wipe without crumpling!  Inspiring……”

Listen, I’m not going to say Carmelo Anthony is some suckhole.  He is clearly one of the greatest offensive forces in the league.  But that’s where it ends.  I don’t care what these stooges on the East coast prattle on about.  These baboons still think that their piss-ant little pimple hills are mountains and believe that everyone west of the Appalachians totes a 10 gallon hat and rides a donkey to the office.  The only donkeys around here are New Yorkers and their patsies in the established media. 

To New York:  David Stern and these corrupt NBA suits who pressure refs into creating the matchups most desirous for TV revenue (see Kings-Lakers game 6 in 2002 or Heat Mavs game 5 in 2006) will make sure you don’t entirely suck, but make no mistake, you’re shackled to a corpse. 

Go Nuggets!