Thank You Sir May I Have Another

So anyway, I’m sitting at my desk in the NE corner of our illustrious cube farm when The Djinn sends me an IM.  He’s got a constructed tournament coming up and needs some play testing to beat some deck called “Jund”. 

It’s been years since I have tossed down serious cards and at first, I have no interest.  I lean back in my chair and look at my surroundings.  The coloring of the cubical walls seems to suck all color from the light spectrum.  In actuality, I am hesitant to assign any specific color to the block ‘D’ in our building where we work.  Is “sooty” considered a color? 

Instinctively, I resume moving things from column ‘A’ to column ‘B’ when it dawns on me that I just turned down a chance to escape from the soul killing doldrums of corporate puppetry and to finally use my brain for something other than maintaining basic bodily functions.

With a speed belying my advanced years, I find myself sprinting over to The Djinn’s desk and shortly thereafter I’m slinging cards again.  I’m rusty.  Damn rusty.  I was somehow able to take the unquestioned power deck of the current environment and mismanage it so badly that I feared that I may have given my friend cause for misguided optimism in his control deck.  Still, it was nice to play again and with the ghosts of grand prix’s past nothing more than some angry little poindexter trying to claw his way out from under a pile of my subconscious, I made the decision to start playing Magic again.

In order to practice basic skills, I popped on to MTGO and played the pre-made free trial constructed decks.  After a few dozen rounds, I felt that I was back to a level of minor competence (notwithstanding the fact that nearly half my opponents ran the black vampires deck) and decided to hit FNM at the local gaming shop. 

Rise of the Eldrazi was the order of the day and despite my unfamiliarity with the set and my appalling lack of practice, I finished 2-1 with my only loss coming to the cat who eventually won the pod.  Secure in the knowledge that I didn’t get my ass handed to me on my first attempt to claw my way back into MTG, I excitedly planned to return for the M11 FNM pre-release event. 

It was here that I ran into something that seriously made me reconsider my return:  The Mythic Rare.

Prepare yourself readers, for I intend to beat the #@%& out of a dead horse.

This mythic thing is crap.  I know that scarcity drives up demand on an open market and so-forth but for Christ’s sake, did WOTC need to make these cards as overpowered as they did?  Nearly every typical rare was completely neutered by these elite and uber-rare cards.  I’ve been priced out before I even got started!

I can’t speak for all MTG players, nor can I speak for most MTG players.  Hell, I probably can’t speak for any MTG players, but I can tell you this, it was a lot more fun opening up 3 packs knowing that you’ll get something pretty bitching for a rare that might tilt a game in your favor than it is to open 24 packs and sift through rares that now resemble untreated septic systems begging the fates to bestow a usable mythic upon you.

When I saw the current pricing for a viable tournament deck I damn near crapped myself.  Who is the marketing genius that came up with this garbage?  The game may be showing substantial popularity right now, but what happens when the current crop of young stars get a few years under their belts and start having bills/girlfriends/spouses/families and can no longer justify such an exorbitant expense?

Does WOTC think that a 12 year old kid from a middle income family is going to be able to walk up to their parents and say “Hey Mom and Dad.  Can you buy me a viable tournament deck for 700 bucks?”  Will the poor young student eschew his rent or books to dump 500 bucks on case hoping against hope to land 1-2 Jayces?  Where will the new blood come from?

They may as well move all the tournaments out to the Hamptons or Beverly Hills as only those peeps will be able to afford to be competitive. I’d say that we can all just pop on to MTGO but that travesty of a money sink is almost criminal in its greed.

Listen, I’m all for making some coin, and moving things online does expand your player base through convenience, but the payout to investment ratio of this mechanism is so bad that betting against the Harlem Globetrotters seems like a sure thing in comparison.

As an outsider, I don’t have my pulse on the community by any means, but I can’t shake the feeling that WOTC exists solely to fleece Magic players.  While a more savvy business (or simply one with a viable competitor) would choose to nurture the goose that lays the golden eggs in an attempt to gently coax a fortune from it’s arse in perpetuity, these clowns have opted to choke the %$#* out of the goose hoping to violently coerce a few quick golden eggs out of it before it kicks off.

In short, my friends, as a newcomer without a substantial time and financial investment in the game, I see little more than some serious Limited play in my future.  My coin purse simply cannot handle the current direction of MTG when it comes to constructed.  Perhaps I should look into the new crop of MMO’s when I am not drafting or playing sealed deck.  I'll let you know what I find.