Episode 11: Much Ado about Nothing….or is it?
Admittedly, it was hard to drum up any real drama for the episode last week (and for the record, I do not consider Kass and Tony’s juvenile snippiness as “drama” as it more closely resembles “idiocy.”)
Tony had 2 idols and could not possibly go home either this week or next, so all of this plotting against him and flushing idols is pointless since he has to use both before the final 4 anyway….right?
Au Contraire!
Our favorite construction worker/cop now has it within his power to take whoever he wants with him to the final 4.
Let’s say Spencer wins immunity next week and Woo and Kass decide to target Trish. Ha! Too bad! Tony decided he wants her in the final 4 and gave her the idol.
Maybe He decides he wants Woo, or Spencer, or maybe even that arsehole Kass. It matters not! Tony gets to pick 25% of the final four no matter what.
He may not make the right choice, but the choice is his to make. And in Survivor, having that type of power is a rare and potent thing.
Admittedly, they should have flushed those idols out weeks ago when it would have made a major difference, but a little “better-late-than-never” was definitely in order here.
Did anyone else notice that Kass and Spencer looked like they got dropped off at a leper colony and not at a school? Watching them recoil from the giggling hands of children like they were the grasping claws of the undead was painful. Thanks God for Woo last week….
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| The Filipino children as seen through the eyes of Kass and Spencer |
Regarding the actual vote, I think that Tash getting snuffed just increased everybody on the island’s chance to win the game by…say…100%.
Instead of brooding and acting all pissed off, Spencer should be dancing for joy as the only person likely to beat him in front of the jury is gone. He is 2 immunity wins (or only 1 if Tony and Kass keep cat-fighting) from a million bucks.
Furthermore, other people did the dirty work for him so he can stand up in front of the Jury and rightfully state that not a single person sitting there was because of him.
The Queen is dead. Now the Jokers get to vie for the throne.
Rant of the Week: Tony! What the $#@&!
For a writer, Tony’s very existence is a gift of colossal value.
Still, as a human being and fan of Survivor, I simply cannot fathom how this guy can or should possibly win a game involving wit and diplomacy.
He’s like a less dickish Russel Hantz who may, in fact, be slightly crazy.
**Note to Phil “The Specialist” Shepherd: When I say “crazy” I am not referring to his ethnicity but to his mental stability.”**
Let’s have a brief history of Tony over the past few weeks alone:
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| I'd kill to have Tony and Phil on "Survivor 29: Sane vs. Crazy" |
· He told everyone he is a construction worker.
· He then told everyone he is a cop.
· 2 weeks ago in tribal council, he told everyone (who, incidentally, already know he is a cop) that he works in construction.
· The following morning, he regales them all with tales about being a cop in Jersey.
· He brings the special idol to tribal council, waves it at Spencer, and then places it carefully back into his “bag o’ tricks”, claiming, after all, that was just a fake idol.
· The next morning, he gets mad at Kass and tells everyone he has the “special idol”.
· He then places an entirely different idol around his neck that night at tribal, essentially telling everyone that he has both idols.
· Tony then acts coy and dodgy when asked if he has another idol, forgetting that he already told everyone he has it.
· He finishes off this impressive run of odd behavior by ranting in tribal about the importance of “loyalty and trust” after just committing his 2nd betrayal in 3 weeks.
Tony! You are a cop (or, perhaps, construction worker, who the hell knows)!
You built the “#Spyshack” for God’s sake!
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| I am reasonably sure Tony believes himself to be one of these 2 guys |
Have you no artifice sir?
This guy is as subtle as an ice-water enema.
If this season had a Boston Rob, a Tyson, a Richard Hatch, a Parvati Shallow, a Cochran, or even a Coach, Captain Paranoia would have been gone weeks ago.
The players this season who lucked into even an ounce of power are so weak strategically that he might just end up pulling this off.
Now that we are down to 5 contestants, it is power rankings time!
I am going to give each player a ranking of 1 to 5 (1 being the best) in a series of important categories and whoever has the lowest total score is my current favorite to win it all.
Likelihood of making it to Final 3
1) Trish
2) Tony
3) Kass
4) Woo
5) Spencer
Considering alliance shakedowns, personality conflicts, possibility of going on immunity run, the concern that they will go on an immunity run, idol possession, and who people fear come jury time, I believe Trish has the best chance here.
Loyalty Factor
1) Trish
2) Spencer
3) Woo
4) Kass
5) Tony
Only Trish and Spencer can claim 100% loyalty. Even Woo entertained and discussed betrayal from time to time. While I think Kass and Tony are equally untrustworthy, the jury appears to be more pissed at Tony than Kass right now.
Eloquence in front of the Jury
1) Spencer
2) Kass
3) Trish
4) Tony
5) Woo
No doubt Spencer wins this category.
Kass should be serviceable given her trial experience. Tony will probably claim that as an out of work construction worker, he needs the money.
Woo is Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High so I do not foresee any wordsmithery from him.
Woo is Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High so I do not foresee any wordsmithery from him.
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| I'd definately consider some tasty waves and a cool buzz |
Likability
1) Woo
2) Trish
3) Spencer
4) Tony
5) Kass
How can you not love Woo. If he doesn’t win the million bucks I hope he’ll come over and babysit my kids. He’s the worst liar in Survivor history but may be one of the best guys.
Spencer comes off as a little pompous but not unlikable.
Kass comes off as very pompous and is a butthole.
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| Kass: "Nobody ever gives the money to the jerk." Uhhhh.....No comment needed I think. |
Played Hard
1) Tony
2) Spencer
3) Woo
4) Trish
5) Kass
When it comes to effort at camp, in challenges, scouring jungles for idols, and building spyshacks, nobody outworked Tony.
Spencer did everything he possibly could with a pretty shitty hand of cards.
When it came to being an unlikeable bastard, nobody outworked Kass.
Played Smart
1) Trish
2) Spencer
3) Tony
4) Woo
5) Kass
Trish put herself in the best possible position possible by being observant, mellow, loyal, and unobtrusive.
Spencer spent the bulk of the game as a reactionary but did it well.
Tony made good moves for himself but did it so ham-handedly it might bite him later.
Woo stayed loyal when he had to.
Kass played a random and senseless game. Her general nastiness and deviousness (combined with copious amounts of luck) is the only reason she’s still here. That wasn’t smart, it was instinctual.
Made “A Big Move”
1) Tony
2) Trish
3) Kass
4) Spencer
5) Woo
By volume alone, Tony wins this category. He found 3 idols, orchestrated the blindsiding of 2 people, and protected his ally with his idol and then voted him out the next week. Tony came to play!
Trish made the best move of the game by observing Kass and Sarah, deducing that the shifty attorney could be turned, and then singlehandedly making it happen. Everyone left in the game aside from Spencer is there because of Trish.
Kass did many things only for the sake of doing them. She has a tough sell ahead of her.
Spencer found and played an idol but his path was laid out for him by necessity.
Woo smiled, nodded, and “definitely considered” many things. The title of “Tony’s lapdog” is going to haunt him.
Intagibles
1) Tony
2) Woo
3) Spencer
4) Kass
5) Trish
Just as name recognition in politics is more important than an actual platform or voting record, so it is that Tony will get some love simply because he is Tony.
Woo is simply a good human being. In fact, most of what he did this game can be described as “simply.” People generally want to see good people get rewarded and thats a strong play at the end of this game.
If he can survive a season when all odds were stacked against him, Spencer is a stud. If he gets to the final 3 he wins.
Kass sniped with about everyone in the game but in doing so was often sniping at someone else’s enemy. She may get some “enemy of my enemy is my friend” votes when all is said and done.
Despite her solid performance, it just doesn’t seem like Trish has much going for her in this department. If I have this feeling, I suspect the jury might also.
Power Rankings:
#1: Trish—18 points
#2: Tony—21 Points
#3: Spencer—22 Points
#4: Woo—27 Points
#5: Kass—31 Points
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| Trish celebrating her Survivor victory |
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