Frey's NFL Picks: Week 12

Sadly, while enjoying tables laden with food, surrounded by the love of family members and the good cheer of friends young and old, we often forget to offer thanks for the force that keeps us strong and secures our preeminence among the nations of the world.

Yep.  I am talking about football.  The REAL football.  You know, the one where you don’t use your feet.  American football.

So with humble heart and clear mind, let’s pick some games and remember to pity all those foolish foreigners who can’t possibly understand the coolness.

Green Bay Packers @ Philadelphia Eagles (-4)

Back in the 17^th century, the Swedish army under Gustav Adolphus was the envy of Europe. 

Green Bay used to be good back in the 17^th century as well.

I’m betting on neither the Swedes nor the Packers to kick anyone’s ass going forward.

Aaron Rodgers poses for a team portrait the last time the Packers were good

 I’ll take the overrated upstart in Philly over the overrated decrepit carcass of Green Bay.

Tennessee Titans @ Chicago Bears (+4 ½)

Lots of teams in the NFL suck.

But in order to Chicago suck you have to start winning games late in the year to thoroughly jack up your draft position for next season.

I think it’s about time for this to start up.

Answer:  Who are the Bears?

Kansas City Chiefs @ Denver Broncos (-3)

This game looks pretty trappy to me on paper but my apprehension is mitigated by the fact that while Denver is coming off a bye and healthy as an ox, the Chiefs are coming off a home loss to the dog-butt Buccaneers and are as healthy as that chick from Sixteen Candles with the neck brace.

I like the beloved Broncos at home in this one.

San Diego Chargers @ Houston Texans (+1 ½)

I’m about the last guy on the planet to talk positively about the Houston Texans.

I’m still not going to talk positively about the Texans.  They’re crappy.

But when, prey tell, did the Chargers become uncrappy enough to be a road favorite against any team not called “The Browns”.

Phillip Rivers is a wang and this game is a trap but I’m falling for it anyway.

I’ll take me some Texas ya’ll.

Go Buffs!

Season Record: 24-19-1

Trap Game Record: 7-4

Frey's NFL Picks: Week 11

Still in Mexico.  I think.....

Here are the picks this week:


Tennessee (+3) @ Indianapolis Colts

 Miami Dolphins (-1.5) @ Los Angeles Rams

Houston @ Oakland Raiders (-5.5)


Admiral Akbar Game:

Philadelphia @ Seattle (-6.5)


Season Record:21-18-1
Trap Game Record: 6-4

Frey's NFL Picks: Week 10

While I am as pleased as any that the election season is firmly behind us, it is proving somewhat difficult in the aftermath to drum up enough football angst to fuel the creative fire.

Donald Trump is president.  

The Chicago Cubs are world champions.  

The most famous person in the country is a talent-bereft woman with a sex tape and a fake ass.

If the US was a TV show, it feels like we are watching the series finale.

On the brighter side, I can answer my phone again without taking a survey, my kids don't have to watch political commercials when watching minecraft videos on you tube, and I have learned that if I do not like losing a fair contest of any sort, I can just take to the streets and bitch about it until my hurt feelings fade or I have to go back to my parents' basement to lead my guild in World of Warcraft.

Therefore, should my picks suck this week, anyone wishing to grab a torch and pitchfork and start burning and looting neighborhood shops will likely receive favorable press coverage.


Minnesota Vikings @ Washington Redskins (-3)

Who doesn't love games featuring a sinking ship against a sleeping donkey?

The Vikings have been racked by injuries and Sam Bradford has come to the always difficult realization that he is, in fact, Sam Bradford.

That doesn't bode well on the road even against a boring Redskins team that is the very embodiment of the term, "meh".

Denver Broncos @ New Orleans Saints (-3)

The Broncos are banged up, their defense is exhausted, their punter sucks, the offense can't execute, and the play-calling is atrocious.

Game footage illustrating the creativity and effectiveness of the Broncos running attack

If you can't put 30 points on the board in New Orleans, then you lose.

I hope I'm wrong, but if Kubiak rigidly adheres to his scheme, this one will be over long before the final whistle.


Seattle Seahawks @ New England Patriots (-7.5)

At last.  The two teams with the least-likable players and fan bases (sans Cowboys) in the NFL meet again.

With Michael Bennett out and Kam Chancellor rusty, I suspect that the dirty rat bastard cheating Patriots will put the wood to brash loudmouths of the Pacific NW.

For this week, mercifully, I don't care who wins as long as someone gets their asses kicked.

Chicago Bears @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+1)

Listen.

I know that Tampa is, yet again and perennially, rubbish.

Death.  Taxes.  Buccaneers being crappy..... 

But being a home underdog to a 2-6 Bears team that hasn't won a road game all year and is still featuring Cutler at the helm seems more than a little outlandish.

Did the Bucs just trade for Sam Bradford or something?  What am I missing here?

Seems trappy to me but I'm going to fall for it.



Season Record:19-16-1
Trap Game Record: 5-4

Frey's NFL Picks: Week 9

I'm gonna ride the "Don't pick teams that suck" train 1 more week and see how it goes.

No time for smart-assery today but I'll make up for it next week.

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Kansas City Chiefs (-7)

New York Jets @ Miami Dolphins (-4)

Tennessee Titans @ San Diego Chargers (-4)


Admiral Akbar Game:

Atlanta Falcons (-4) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Season Record:17-15
Trap Game Record: 4-4